A Healthy Me

The F word...

2010-09-30T07:15:00.001-07:00

Here I am... feeling like a failure. A fat failure. There, I said it. I've been meaning to put that out there for weeks. And why didn't I do it sooner? As long as I avoided this blog (and you) I was allowing myself to continue to fail.

This summer was nothing but a struggle for me. I avoided the scale and ate what I wanted... too much of what I wanted - even tho I was working out harder than I ever have in my life. And now I feel awful. I need accountability. I need to get back to what works: calorie counting and stepping on the scale.

My back is bad shape. It's been bad for months. I've been ignoring it and now I can't work out AT ALL! My herniated discs are really aggravated and I am in pain. I hate not being active. I feel fat. I know, I already said that.

Today, I was 143. I don't know how much muscle I gained doing p90x for 4 months, but I do know that my jeans - even tho they still zip - are not as comfy as they used to be. I feel fat. I'm not looking for a specific number on the scale, I just want to be comfortable.
Part of me wants to 'screw it' since we are leaving for our Disney vacation in 2 weeks. (I have GOT to stop setting deadlines for myself!) I can't make any promises here anymore. I can't swear myself off of sugar or promise to 'eat healthy until whatever date'. I AM going to *try* to make good choices, esp now that I can't exercise until further notice. I feel like I am letting everyone down - most importantly, myself.
Why must I love food? It will never love me back. ugh.

PS I'm watching Julie and Julia as I type this. Ironic?

sugar free for 23 challenge, P90X and new goals

2010-08-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

We are going to the beach again! It will only be for 3 days, but it's still very exciting - kind of our 'last hoorah' before summer ends. We are leaving for this trip on the 25th... 23 days from yesterday. I am challenging myself to be sugar free for 23 days leading up to this trip. I realized that I am not holding myself accountable for my diet and that is why I am failing miserably. I need to be posting here to keep myself in check. Last week was a bad bad week. And even though I am burning 4000+ calories during the week with my exercise/activity, I my pants feel tight and I am uncomfortable and bloated. I feel gross. So today is day 2/23. I can do this.

In other news, I'm on week 12 of P90X. I'M ALMOST FINISHED! This is my last week of weight training and next week is a recovery week. I won't lie, I'm not super-impressed with my results. But I must consider the fact that I wasn't in terrible shape to begin with AND more importantly that my diet was not great. I think that would have make a difference.
So, I've decided to take on another round of P90X. Another 90 days of serious weight training, but I have planned it so that my our trip to Disney World in October falls during a recovery week. Lord knows I'll gain at least 5 lbs while we're there! ugh. I'll start this second round at the end of this month and take some sculpt classes at the gym in the mean time.

Also, I have decided to run the Philly Half Marathon in November. I need a new goal to work toward. I have recently stepped up my running, adding in a long run on the weekend. I suffered through a hard 9 miles last weekend, and I have plenty of time to train before the event on November 20th. (man, it will be cold!)

Here's to the next 22 days... I'll need all the help I can get!

P90X... still going strong!

2010-07-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

I've just completed week 7 of P90X and I feel pretty good. I am definitely getting stronger and I am now able to do 2 chin ups and 1 pull up unassisted. I know I can do real push ups, but for some reason, I always go to my knees. I need to challenge myself in the push up department.

This next week will be recovery week again. We will be on vacation for a few days and I plan to run each day. Here is the plan:
M-Cycle/Core class
T- Plyometrics
W- Run
Th- Run
F- Run
S- Power Ride class (cycle/weights)
S- Rest

Food? Well, you know how that goes. I had my nephews and my mom visiting for 10 days and I think we went out to eat more in those 10 days than I do in a 6 month period, ever! I did commend myself on some good choices when I could have been very bad, but then I blew it a few times with too many snacks or too much ice cream. Not to mention the extra junk food that was laying around the house. ugh.
I don't really have a plan for how I'll eat on vacation. I don't want to pass up my nightly ice cream treats on the boardwalk, so I'll take it as it comes.

I DO however have a plan for my final phase of P90X... I am going to get really strict with my diet and stick to clean eating for the final phase. I wish I was more strict during the first 2 phases, but it's time to clean it up now and get serious.

I've decided to wait until Day 60 to take pics again. That's 10 more days. Stay tuned!

P90X week 4 recap

2010-06-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Week 4 was recovery week for me. Here is how it went:

S- Rest
M- cycling class/abs and P90X Core video
T- Interval run 30 min
W- Total Body Sculpt/Step class
R- Run 5 miles (treadmill)
F- Total body sculpt class
S- 5.8 mile run outside

I feel pretty good this week, even tho I haven't exactly been eating great. I'm still about 80% clean, and I really just need to stop munching/snacking. I think I might get back on cooler 1 (or at least a modified cooler 1) starting on Monday better yet, maybe I'll start tomorrow! I've been indulging in too many sweets this week and I need to refocus and get back on track.

I am excited to start my new routine and I can not wait until I can take more pictures of myself to compare my progress. I'll do that in 3 more weeks- just before the start of my next recovery week. In the mean time, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and keep pushing play!

week 5 P90X... Bring it!

P90X week 3 recap

2010-06-07T05:37:00.000-07:00

Well, I finished out Week 3 and I am in recovery mode this week. And back to the weights next week. I must be honest, I am not looking forward to this recovery week. I really like the strength training routines of this plan more than anything. I suppose I'll have to muddle through this week... I am not really following the P90X plan for recovery. I have my own plan:
M- P90X Core Synergistics (Not a fan, but I did it), Cycling class
T- Run intervals
W- Total Body Sculpt at the gym (with light weights)
R- Run
F- P90X CardioX OR KenpoX
S- Endurance Run
S- Rest
I know I'll get through this week, but it's going to suck!

I feel so good. I feel really strong and confident. My eating has not been 100% perfect, but I am trying. This week, my goal is to not eat after 7pm. The night time munching habit has been sneaking up on me. I must make it go away.
Having a relaxing food day is helping too. On Saturdays for the past 2 weeks I have given myself some flexibility and eaten less strict. It seems to work for me for now.

My next recovery week happens to fall while we are on vacation, which is great! I'll be able to run at the beach and not have to drag weights/bands with me in my luggage.

Finally, I took some pictures on Day 19 (Saturday) and I am pleased with them. I do not see the person in these pictures when I look in the mirror. This was eye opening to me. I'll take my next set of photos around day 45, which is the half way mark for the program. I am anxious for that!

P90X week 2 recap

2010-05-31T04:22:00.000-07:00

I completed week 2 of p90x and I feel great! I am starting to see small changes in my shoulders, arms and abs and I really feel stronger already. On Friday, I was showing my mom my new pull-up bar (Thanks Robin for letting me borrow it!) and I hopped up and did a complete unassisted chin up. It was hard, but I got all the way up. I completely surprised myself! My lats have been super-sore since I got that bar. I just remind myself that "Pain is weakness leaving he body."

I STILL have not taken (before) pictures. This is a problem. I won't know how far I've come without them. I must work on that today!

This week will be my last week in this rotation. Next week is more of a cardio week and then I will start a new weight rotation.

I feel good and I am anxious to keep up with this program.

My eating was pretty under control during the week, but not so good over the weekend... it was our anniversary and we had a family bbq, but I'm back on track today- as is my plan every M-F. Giving myself some slack on the weekends seems to be helpful lately.

New routines

2010-05-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been off again, on again with my eating. I seem to start everyday 'Clean' and by mid afternoon I find something to 'cheat' on. Some days I feel guilty. Some days I don't. I am working much harder on keeping 'trigger foods' out of the house, which is not really fair to the kids, but I honestly don't think they know the difference.

I haven't weighed in officially in awhile. Last time I was on the scale I was 135.7. I can deal with that. I'd like to get down to 130 eventually, but right now I can't stress over the numbers. My stress leads to obsession. I needed to take a step back and get realistic. I also read THIS post on the Eat Clean message boards. It's hit home and really made me change my perspective about the number on the scale.

So, I have started a new routine and I am excited about it! I started to do P90X this week. I woke up everyday this week at 5am to get my workout in. (waking up this early is awesome!) At first I thought it was really hard, but after a few days, I am realizing it's nothing I can't handle. I went out and bought new (heavier) weights for my workouts and that will help to challenge me. The program is 90 days or intense body sculpting. It's a nice change for me and this is a great time for me to do this. I have adjusted the program a bit so that I can still fit in some running a few times a week (including 2 sessions of HIIT, which is so effective for fat loss)
I'll have Bobby take pictures of me this week so I'll have something to compare at 30, 50 and 90 days.

I'd still like to run another half marathon. And I'm not going to lie... I have been thinking more and more about running a full marathon. Maybe next year? I don't plan to run anything 'big" (more that 10k) until the fall at the earliest.

In the meantime, I'll just keep plugging away. Aiming for good, clean eating days... a constant struggle.

I promise to update again next week after my second full week of p90x.

Confessions...

2010-05-08T14:24:00.001-07:00

Yikes... has it been that long since I posted??? I owe you an update, huh?

Well, first things first... I never really completed cooler 1. I stuck it out strictly for a few days, but started to gradually add carbs back in for fear that I would have a carb-low for the Broad Street run last Sunday. If it weren't for the race, I think I could have stuck out Cooler 1 for a few more days. I was doing really well on it.
I was careful about adding carbs back into my diet and did so over the course of a few days. I was mostly concerned about the 24-72 hours before the race itself. I planned carefully and did a good job. Then... the night before the race, we were staying at my mom's condo. I decided to eat a bagel. with butter. amongst other things.... peanut butter crackers and a rice krispie treat. Yes, a mini binge, if you will. (Just wait, it gets better)
I went to sleep that night... did NOT sleep well at all, woke up at 3am parched and ultimately awoke at 6:30 am feeling ill - stomach pains, cramps, dry mouth and headache. It was like a hangover (on top of my nerves for the race) It was forecast to be a record of 90 degrees for the race. I worked hard to hydrate in the prior days, but I undid that when I binged. Way to go Mich! What was a thinking???

I finished the race in 1:33:32... just 31 seconds slower than last year, when I ran the same race in the rain. Considering the heat, and my condition, I'll take 31 seconds even tho I wanted to finish in 1:30. oh well. I finished.

*******

I promised you it got better and it does...

I thought I'd go back to cooler 1 for a few days after the race, but I'd give myself a break on Sunday since I DID burn over 1000 cals racing.
Monday and Tuesday were okay. I ate strictly, it was tough. Wednesday started out okay, but I found myself wanting to munch all day and found some Easter candy to pig out on. By the evening, I caved and purchased 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's (my newest weakness) when I went to pick up a few things at the store. I thought about only getting 1, but they were on sale (and I couldn't decide which flavor I liked better - but let's face it, they ALL are bad!)
I sat in front of the TV that night and watched my DVRed shows while I polished off an entire pint. It was good. I went to bed feeling guilty, but promising myself that "I'd be better tomorrow." (story of my life)
Tomorrow came. I started out on the right foot... oatmeal and egg whites for breakfast. But there in the freezer was that other pint of Ben and Jerry's calling my name. (I knew I should have just gotten one!) In my defense, I was feeding it to my twins by the spoonful, so I can't say that I ate "the whole thing." Regardless, the entire pint was gone by afternoon. And the rest of the day, well, that was a waste too. I ate junk. Lots of junk.
I am embarrassed. I am ashamed. But I am also keeping myself accountable. And that is why I am posting this here for you to see. As embarrassing and shameful as my actions are, I need to make them known.
My relationship with food is awful. I wish I could be one of those people who 'eats to live" instead, I live to eat. I openly admit it. I love food. I love to eat. But why can't I ever do it without feeling guilty? Why can't I enjoy food and get over my mistakes? Why can't I enjoy food in moderation? Why does it have to all or nothing for me and food? For me, one poor choice leads to a million more. I don't know when to stop. I become compulsive. I hate it.
On Thursday, I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I never want to feel that way again. Sometimes I try to justify my binges... I tell myself things like "you work out hard" and "you are at a healthy weight." and "You won't gain 10 lbs from one binge." True statements, but really is that an excuse to eat 3000+ calories in 1 day? really? I hate how I feel after a binge, yet the next time I do it I'll fail to remember how bad it really was.

And now the hardest part of all for me to admit:
I feel like I need to talk to someone about this. I made a call and I'm trying to get an appointment.
There. That was even harder to admit than the ice cream.

Thank you for reading this far. All I ask is for support. Not judgment, not input. Just support. I'm hurting inside. And unless you've ever experienced an addiction, you just won't get it. But I know many of you will.

Cooler 1 update (again)

2010-04-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

Still feeling great! Today is day 6 on Cooler 1. The scale was 131.4 this morning.

Yesterday, I added a half of a sprouted grain tortilla to my lunch. I have also been having half of a banana in my protein shakes.

I've really been stressing out about how to eat for my race on Sunday. I think what I am going to do is increase my (healthy) carbs on Friday -just an extra serving of oatmeal, rice or pasta, eat normally on Saturday and then have my usual morning oatmeal before my race on Sunday. Currently, my carbs make up about 40% of my daily diet. On Friday, I'll bump it to 50-55%. I am hoping that will do the trick. I'll also carry some brown rice syrup energy gels in my belt in case I need them.

I think more than anything I am worried that I am going to gain if I eat more. But I sincerely am happy with my current weight and I know I am ready to move to Cooler 2. I hope that I continue to lose, but I know that if I don't, I can always come back to cooler 1 for a jump start.

I purchased some organic chicken breasts this week. Wow! We could really tell the difference! The texture and taste were great! much difference from the typical chicken we usually buy. I need to get some more of that stuff!

I have been making clean eating meals for my kids this week. They seem to be going over rather well. I am trying to involve them in the cooking process so that they are more likely to give it a try. So far so good!

Cooler 1 update

2010-04-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

So far so good on Cooler 1. Today is day 4 and I am feeling really great! I feel very structured when it comes to what/how I am eating. I needed that.

I tried to resist the scale this morning, but I couldn't. I hopped on expecting to see 134-135 since I was up to 137 after last week's first candy-fest.

Today I was 132.4. I hopped on and off the scale 4 times because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. That made me feel even better! I had to pick up the scale and move it bc hubby moved it out of the way when giving the kids a bath. I thought maybe the 'balance' was off and that was why it was reading so low. It's happened before. Let's hope its not a fluke!

I've become accustomed to my egg whites with veggies and oatmeal for breakfast. I am starting to acquire the taste for 'naturalness' in food, which is something I took for granted before.

My plan was to stick out Cooler 1 for 3 days and then move on to Cooler 2, but I think I might stick with Cooler 1 for another day or two before I start to re-introduce whole grains. I am concerned that I won't have energy for my 10 miler this weekend if my carb count is as low as it's been since starting this plan. I plan to add a whole grain wrap at my lunch and eventually another piece of fruit. I must be careful to add carbs back gradually so I don't gain back what I've lost.

The thing I like about this diet is that whenever I have a bad day, I can always come back to "cooler 1" as a sort of 'cleanse.' Even tho I have been 'eating clean foods' for a few months I haven't been paying attention to the combination of food that I eat. I think I really do need fewer carbs and more veggies in order to lose.

6 days until Broad Street! I got my bib number and need to pick up my packet on Saturday! I am so excited! I love this race!

Oh and today when I picked up R from pre school, one of the moms stopped me to tell me that I "look so good". That made my day!

Cooler 1

2010-04-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well, this week has been an utter disaster for me. I'm in a funk - a chocolate funk and I need to get the hell out!

Tomorrow I will be starting COOLER ONE on the Eat Clean Diet. Here is an overview (stealing from my Eat Clean Buddy, Casey's blog!)

What it's for: Breaking plateaus, losing last 5-10lbs, showing increased muscular definition and quick weight loss (Cooler 1 should be followed for a maximum of two weeks at a time - Eat your last meal at 6pm or four hours before bed)

What it is: Please note this is the strictest of your cooler plans and will not be easy for some of you (ME!) There is very little room for indulgence and you may feel a little foggy due to lack of complex carbs. If it is too much you can add more complex carbs (yam, apple or brown rice) to one of your early meals. But hardcore eating promises results and that is what you will get (I like that part!!!)

How it works: Follow the EC principles -
complex carbs from fruit (apple or pear per day 1/2 in morning 1/2 in afternoon)
Complex carbs from veggies - 2 cupped handfuls eaten 4 times per day of cukes, radishes, tomatoes, leafy greens, broccoli, spinach, asparagus, green beans, sprouts, celery, bok choy, or other high-water content, non-starchy, low-Gylcemic index veggies.
Complex carbs from whole grains/starchy carbs: 1 handful per day of cooked quinoa, brown rice, oatmeall, millet or Cream of Wheat (top with 2-4 T ground flaxseed and 2-4 T bee pollen (can't find this anywhere)) I hand sized sweet potato or yam serving per day (1/2 in morning and 1/2 in afternoon or evening)
Lean Protein: 1 palm sized portion eaten five times each day of tuna, chicken, egg whites, bison, elk or non-oily fish. Good quality sugar- and chemical-free protein powder (hemp, soy or whey) may be substituted for any protein serving.

Beverages - 1 gallon of distilled water, fresh water with no sodium or clear, unsweet, herbal tea

Avoid:
dairy
Juice
Bread
Salad dressings - except lemon juice and balsamic vinegar
Spreads - margarine, butter, mayo
High-sodium foods

I think this strictness is what I need to get me back on track. I will do Cooler 1 for 1 week and then move on to cooler 2 once I am feeling more in control.

Tomorrow's Plan:
M1- 1/2 c oatmeal w flax, 3 scrambled egg whites w/ spinach, onion and mushrooms
M2- Protein Shake, 1/2 pear, cauliflower
M3- chicken, 1/2 Sweet Potato, orange pepper strips
M4- Protein Shake, 1/2 pear, cauliflower
M5- Tilapia, 1/2 sw potato, filed greens and tomatoes w balsamic and lemon juice

I feel ashamed, embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I can't believe how out of control I have been. But, I'm human... but NOT a human going to the electric chair!

oops...

2010-04-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

And that should really be a BIG OOPS! Last night I made the mistake of having some ice cream. I won't get into the messy details, but the end result was too much Ben and Jerry's.
I woke up this morning feeling okay. When I looked in the mirror, I saw the same person I saw yesterday. I didn't feel guilty and I knew I'd just start fresh today. And I did. I made myself an egg white omelet loaded with veggies and it was all good.

Then, a little but later. I was hungry. Impulsively, I reached for something forbidden. And again... no messy details, but it involved Easter candy. And not just a few pieces of candy, if you know what I mean.

I'm over it now. Drinking water, going for a run and moving on. I can't undo it. But I do regret it. And I knew I would! So why did I do it? All that hard work for the past month... all that feeling great, feeling energized... and now I feel like crap.

Damn you Ben... and your friend Jerry, too!

Victory

2010-04-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

I had a small victory on Wednesday that I thought I'd share with you:

On Tuesday night, I make the mistake of having a bite of the kid's chocolate ice cream AND one single cadbury mini egg. I don't know what I was thinking. Both were yummy. And I could see myself going back for more. But I didn't.

Wednesday was hard. I could tell from the time I woke up it was going to be a tough day. I kept busy most of the day and was aware of the "impending doom" if I caved.
I got through most of the day and by 6 o'clock when I was heading out to kickboxing, I grabbed the Easter candy from the freezer in the garage. I stashed a piece in my purse and left a few pieces out to defrost for when I got home. I was going to pig out.

I got to kickboxing and it was canceled. I decided that since I had an hour to myself and B was home with the kids I was going to make use of it. I thought about going to get a milkshake or some ice cream. But somehow I found myself at Kohl's. I was looking for shorts for the kids, but ended up in the dressing room trying on bathing suits!
Needless to say, NO chocolate (or any candy) got eaten that night.
I went home, and had some sauteed veggies and went to bed.

I declared a victory when I woke up the next morning! The scale has been UP just a blip since my Sunday weigh in (133- which I think was a fluke) I am now hovering at 134 and feeling great!

I am going to work on lowering my carbs this week. I believe they are making me feel bloated, so I am going to experiment withOUT my fiber one cereal (I've been getting plenty of fiber without it anyway) and my lunchtime whole wheat wraps, which are loaded with sodium. eek.

TWO WEEKS until Broad Street!!!

Still eating clean

2010-04-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month now of eating clean for me (if you don't count those 2 bad days I had a few weeks ago) I am feeling better than ever. I have dropped a few pounds (finally!) and I'm at 133. (I was 140 just a few weeks ago) I feel skinny. I look toned. My clothes are fitting loosely. I'm in control.

This 'diet' works.

I have found a few new 'friends' on Livestrong.com (where I track my food) and these new friends are sugar addicts, much like I am. We've started a group "Sugar AA" to support each other in our sugar-free lifestyle. We are learning a lot from each other. It's so great to know there are others like me out there who love sugar as much as I do. All or nothing.

Speaking of ALL... Yesterday I was in CVS and I stumbled upon Larabars - on clearance. I decided to pick one up to stash in my purse in case of emergency. I have seen these before, but never got brave enough to try one. The label reads 18 grams of sugar, that may be what's been keeping me away. Well, I read on a clean eating site that these bars are considered a clean food. They are made of very few ingredients and all natural. Dates are the basis. The sugar is 'all natural.'
Well, I decided that by 5pm I was in an emergency (out shopping and hungry) so I ripped it open and took a bite. YUM! I only ate half, but by 9pm I decided to have the rest. (remember, All or nothing?) What an awesome sweet treat! I could totally see myself reaching for one of these when I need something sweet.
I went back to CVS today and bought more on clearance and also a few other flavors at Wegmans. I plan to use sparingly. :)

One more thing... I started taking a kickboxing/kettlebell class once/week. It's great! I never saw myself as a kickboxing kind of girl, but I think I really like it. What a great workout!

I hope to come back with more good news (pounds lost) next week. I can not believe that I am finally losing my belly fat... the same belly fat that I insisted would never go away - ever! Guess what? I was wrong. Eating clean is melting it away!

I kicked Easter's Butt!

2010-04-05T18:16:00.000-07:00

Well, Easter has come and gone. I was seriously stressed out about it for over a week leading up to it. What was I going to eat? How much? Was I going to binge? It was a no brianer that I'd eat mouthfuls of chocolate and jelly beans before sunset on Easter Sunday. At least I thought so.

I filled the kids baskets and hid the eggs the night before. I did not indulge... unless smelling counts. :)

Sunday morning came and get this: I HAD NO DESIRE TO EAT CANDY! And so I didn't.

I went for a 10 mile run between church and dinner. That helped too, I'm sure. (I'm ready for Broad Street, btw. With a month to spare!)

Just 2 weeks ago I was telling Bobby how I couldn't wait to gorge myself with multiple pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream once Lent was over. And now, when given the opportunity, I don't want it? What's that all about?

And so, I ate an awesome salad (with artichokes, olives, and roasted beets) some chicken and a single ravioli. For dessert I had fruit. Not a single peanut butter egg or jelly bean passed my lips. I stayed 90% clean for Easter. I am still in shock.

The bast part was this morning... I woke up feeling fresh... not bloated, not guilty. Feeling proud that I made the right decisions.

Eating Clean Rocks!

What I've been eating

2010-03-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

I bought the Clean Eating "MagBook" in the magazine section at my grocery store. I use it as a guideline when it comes to my 'diet.' I haven't been following it strictly. Most of the info that's in it is stuff I already knew, but I thought it would be a good resource to have.

So, here is what I have been eating lately:

Breakfast
1/2 c Fiber 1 Cereal
1/2 c Kashi Heart to Heart
1/2 c unsweetened soy milk
OR
1 c oatmeal
plus
banana or berries

Lunch
Whole Wheat Tortilla
3oz chicken or turkey or tuna
1/2 Avocado
Tomato chunks
1 tbsp Crumbled Feta Cheese

Dinner
4-6 oz Lean protein (fish, chicken, turkey)
sweet potato or brown rice
2 c mixed field greens/spinach
tomatoes, avocado, cucumbers, sliced beets, chick peas, feta
w/ 1/2 tbsp Olive oil and 1 tbsp white wine vinegar.

Snacks
Greek yogurt w fresh berries
OR
1/4 c whole natural almonds
OR fruit w almond butter
OR 1/2 c low fat Cottage Cheese w berries
whole grain tortilla chips with black bean salsa

This is a typical day for me. I also make some "clean" recipes that I might swap out for one of these meals. (My faves have been chicken salad, pancakes, grain casserole and barley/veggie soup)

I have been drinking a minimum of 74 oz of water/day. Most days it's closer to 100. I also drink organic Green tea most nights before bed. And some days I'll have a protein shake to supplement my workout.

I don't strictly count calories, but most days I come in around 1500-1700 cals. I try to keep my macros at a 50/25/25 split (carbs/protein/Fat). Because I run a lot, I need those carbs. I tend to lose more steadily with this split as opposed to a high protein split. (30/40/30) That was always really difficult to do anyway!

I CAN NOT even describe how fantastic I feel! My complexion is so clear, and my skin is so smooth. My nails are strong, and my hair looks great! I have so much more energy for my runs. I sleep better and I feel like I am lean. This lifestyle is magic!

It takes planning... more time to cook and prepare your foods, read labels, etc. But it is worth it. I challenge anyone who wants to feel better overall to try it out!

Clean Eating Day 10

2010-03-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

Today makes 10 days... 10 days of eating clean. Every day gets easier. When I wake up in the morning, I am relieved that I have made it through another full day and I look forward to continuing this journey.
I have tried a few new yummy recipes and I feel like my cravings have (finally) disappeared. My body now craves fruit and grains. I feel so great, but I am stressing about Easter dinner this weekend. It will be Italian style... Ravioli, Grandpop's "chicken roll-ups", salad, asparagus casserole and bread... LOTS of bread. Would it be rude for me to bring some Turkey Tenderloin and a sweet potato and have some salad? On one hand, I want to cheat, but on the other hand I feel so great I don't want to sabotage my efforts. It's just not worth it to me. (not today anyway)

Yesterday, I had planned to start my log runs in my training for The Broad Street Run on May 2nd. I planned to run 7 miles. I could tell within the first five minutes that it was going to be a great run and by mile 5 I made the decision to keep going. I pushed through 8 miles in and hour and 14 minutes. I felt awesome!

I'm still drinking a ton of water- more than 74oz/day. I'm a bit congested too, but not letting it get me down. Mind over matter.

So that's that.... 10 days. How long will I last?

Splash.... Water update

2010-03-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to report that I am on DAY 8 of my water increase... I have gotten anywhere between 74 and 100 oz of water EVERY DAY for since last Monday! I can't say that I feel that much different, except that I am spending a lot more time in the bathroom. I especially hate waking in the middle of the night to pee.

This isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I like the daily challenge and find that my big 74oz water jug is pretty much empty by dinner time. I'm drinking 16-24oz during my workouts, too. I can't believe I'm not floating away.

Confession

2010-03-22T05:33:00.001-07:00

So, it happened. When I least expected it. Thursday. And again. On Friday. Binge. Sugar binge.

We had a marathon play date on Thursday with my old college roommate and her kids. We were out of the house all day... we packed lunches and picnicked at the park. Ran around chasing the soccer ball. I was healthy. Later in the afternoon, I was thinking about what we'd have for dinner. I thought about hitting up a drive thru, but I resisted the urge to stop and decided to heat up whatever was left over in the fridge for dinner. And we did. I feasted on pizza and pasta. ugh. Later, I discovered a bag of Hershey kisses in the freezer in my garage. I went to town. I felt gross. I knew I would.

Friday was off to a good start, but by the end of the day that bag of kisses was gone. (and I don't mean in the trashcan!)

I decided to run a race on Saturday... an 8k (4.97 miles) so that removed some of the guilt from my 2 day binge. I finished the race in 43:47 and was pleased.

I stayed on track all day Saturday and Sunday, and seem to be back in control. I have not been recording my foods as strictly, so I don't know exactly how much I'm eating, but I am making the right choices and feel less pressured this way.

PS I wore my size 4 jeans on Thursday! Go me!

Reverse Psychology

2010-03-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm proud to announce that I have gotten in 98oz of water the past 2 days (both days!) I'm well on my way today too.

But I have another problem. I am still craving junk food. Easter candy in particular. My days are more of a struggle than I remember from the past. I'm certainly eating a ton of nutrient dense foods, but for some reason I'm not completely 'over' the whole "wish I could eat whatever I want" phase. Alas, it's only been a week. A hard week. And I suppose I'm doing remarkably better than I was on day 1. I'm just especially hungry these past few days... even with all this water I'm drinking.

Some days I think I should be able to eat whatever I want... screw healthy. I exercise more than the average person. I burn 3000 cals/week. And I fear the day that I cave- and then facing that downward spiral - binging and feeling like complete crap again. Then dealing with unbalanced blood sugar and waking the next day only to want to eat more junk.

Then I think, when will that day be?

Last week at this time, I thought it would be today, St. Patricks Day. (every year, my mom made those sweet (evil) little morsels of goodness - Irish Potatoes. Sugar... and coconut. yum.) Well, it doesn't look like it will be today. No Corned Beef and cabbage here, either.
And it probably won't be tomorrow. Maybe Friday? Pizza night? I resisted last week's urge (of eating the kid's crusts)
DS's bday is coming soon. Will it be that day.
Will I make it to Easter? (when I can finally eat ice cream again?) I MUST have a Zitner's butter krak egg some time this spring. Also, Rita's is open. Tho I can surely pass on this year's new flavor. Peeps. gross. sigh.

Do I sound like someone who is deprived. Why yes, yes I do. Some days I do so well... I'm so strong. Other days, I would give my right butt cheek for just a swig of a chocolate milkshake.

And don't try to give me that "everything in moderation" schpeal.

You see, moderation is s thing that seldom works for me. I am an "all or nothing" eater. Bring me a bag of M&Ms, and I'm not satisfied until the bag is gone. Ice cream... same thing. All or nothing. No moderation with me when it comes to junk. It's a sad sad life. And a visious cycle. I have a love affair with food.

Although, sometimes, when I 'give myself permission' to eat something bad or to "have a bad day" I don't really want to do it anymore. How's that for reverse psychology?

Excuse me while I go make out with my water bottle. again. (trying to cheat on food with water is not my idea of a 'healthy' relationship. But I'm doing it anyway.)

The word of the day:

2010-03-15T05:50:00.001-07:00

is WATER!
I need it. You need it. We all need it. But do you get enough? I know for a fact that I DO NOT. This week I am challenging myself to drink 74 oz of water at least 5 times. This probably means I'll be staying close to home since this will come as a major shock to my bladder.
Some days the only water I get is during my runs. That's scary. We need this stuff to help our bodies function optimally.
I've filled a gigantic (think Big Gulp size) water bottle with fresh water and I will fill my glass all day long until it's gone. Easy, right? We'll see.

Look out bladder...

New Look... sort of.

2010-03-13T04:30:00.000-08:00

So, I switched things up a bit here. Just a tad. You may not even notice. I changed the "Title" of this blog because really it's not about weight loss anymore. It's about maintenance and management... staying healthy, which is not as easy as it seems.

I have been working on this 'clean eating thing' for about a week now (with a few slip ups early in the week) But I am realizing that if I want this to work, I need to be strict. I need to read labels and I need to be conscious of everything I put into my body. I am tracking my food again on Livestrong.com (used to be TheDailyPlate) I'm not so hung up on the numbers (okay, well, maybe I am) but I have to say that I am eating 50-60 grams of FAT per day! It seems like a lot but my fats are healthy fats. Oils, avocados, nuts, lean meats. The good stuff.
I feel great again. The first day was h-a-r-d. At night I almost caved. I needed something sweet. I had a head ache all day and I wanted sugar. I knew if I could get past it, I'd feel better. And I did. I made myself a bowl of fresh berries and cottage cheese and that was that. The next day, I felt great and by the third day even better. Cravings are pretty much gone and I'm not hungry as much as I usually am. I still eat 5-6 mini meals/day

I am still trying to figure out how people can eat clean all the time. I seem to go in cycles. I eat healthy for weeks at a time and then I cave and eat crap for a few days or a week... then I'm back at it again. (getting back to clean is the hardest part)

For now, I want to make it to Easter. That's 3 weeks away. I'm already down 2 lbs! (but my goal is not to lose! It just happens) :)

On the fitness front, I'm registered for The Broad Street Run and recruiting people to join me every day! I ran this race last year- in the rain- and it was a blast. It's 10 miles and very flat (somewhat downhill) I may need to incorporate some ice cream and sugar back into my diet prior to that race. We'll see where my new found energy takes me...

I'm Strong

2010-03-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

So, I have been attempting this clean eating thing for a few days. (it back fired today - more on that in a second) It's hard. Nothing processed... which I am usually pretty good about anyway, but really... yesterday I read the ingredients on my peanut butter crackers and there it was "high fructose corn syrup." (I ate them anyway)

So... flash back to last Sunday. It was my twin's third birthday. I had just returned from my mommy getaway in Southern California (where all we did was eat at chain restaurants and drink wine - talk about a vacation!) I did (sorta) try my best to behave- even passed on In n Out Burger, which we don't have here in PA - but I still came home feeling bloated and yucky. I ran everyday that I was there... by the beach. It was lovely.
So Sunday night, I am suddenly ill. Chills, aches, nausea... the whole chabang. I didn't eat much Monday or Tuesday and by Wednesday I was starting to feel somewhat normal... tho still not great enough to work out. By Thursday I was back to myself and had this new, clean slate (to eat from) I was going to eat clean. I worked my butt off Thurs-Sunday and still managed to burn 2300 calories for the week. Not bad considering a 3 day hiatus. I felt good.

(Now, I have to throw this part in, bear with me)

On Friday, I went to sculpt class. I hadn't been there in a month. Class was canceled a few times for snow and I had been away the week the class actually wasn't canceled. My instructor (whom I now LOVE) told me I was STRONG. In front of the whole class. She said. "You should use the pink bands because you are really strong." I was proud. I blushed. I don't know why. I feel like I kind of already knew that, but to have someone who is stronger than me actually point it out is just, well, really cool. To me, anyway.

//Back to my regularly scheduled blog//

So today, it backfired. I was doing so well with no sugar in my system and not craving it at all and then BAM this morning, while I was pouring the froot loops in to Ava's bowl, I caved. It was like a trigger. (should I blame the toucan?) I was suddenly eating M&Ms (which created a problem later in the day for the potty training toddler) and reheating pizza for lunch in addition to a few 'tastes' of last night's left over enchiladas. Oh, and have you ever had frozen cool whip? Um, yum! No substitute for ice cream (which I gave up for Lent) but it's a tasty treat!

It was a bad day. But guess what? I AM strong. I can get through this. I will not beat myself up. Tomorrow is a new day. For new choices and new goals.

That is all.

Snow Stom Check in

2010-02-10T09:42:00.000-08:00

It's a blizzard outside here in NE PA. I haven't updated you in a couple of weeks. So, here you go:

I ran A LOT last week. 33.5 miles to be exact. We didn't hit the gym... I mostly ran on the treadmill at home since I was dealing with a sick child. I burned over 3000 calories for the third week in a row.
I decided I will run Broad Street again this year. The race is May 2nd. It's 10 miles. Right now I am up to 6 at a time, so it won't be too hard for me to train for this event.

My birthday came and went on Monday. And I ate. I pre-gamed my own bday on Sunday night with the SuperBowl. I indulged in a piece of Banana Cake from the bakery of our favorite local pizza place. It was SO good... except it made me less excited for the Ultimate White Cake from Wegman's that I was so much looking forward to.
Bobby got me new Nikes and awesome purple earbuds (to match my purple iPod) for my birthday. I also got a much needed gym bag (which I LOVE) and a new water bottle.
Bobby's mom got me new pots and pans! woohoo!

I have started the process for my Tummy Tuck surgery. I have found the surgeon I want to use and I'm ready to schedule a consultation. I want Bobby to be with me for the consult and we are having a hard time coming up with a date where he can take off and join me. I am not in a rush since I don't think I want to have the surgery until the fall (probably November) But I am glad to be making progress in this department.

Yoga class has been canceled the past 2 weeks due to snow. I am missing it. I needed a change from my running routine from last week so I did Boot Camp on Sunday (which I love to hate) and took a cycling class on Monday. I hope to get back to my sculpting class on Friday.
Bobby was sick yesterday with a nasty stomach bug. I am hoping and praying that it doesn't get the rest of us. Although, that might make for a nice way to get rid of the birthday lbs!

I have been making poor food choices for the past few days. I guess the snow makes me want to eat. (oh, and the birthday thing...) I need to get back on track. I truly was feeling wonderful before I had that Banana cake on Sunday night.
On that note
Last week, I purchased a container of Party Cake ice cream. My intention was to indulge during the snow storm last weekend. I never opened it... in fact, it's still in my freezer! Victory... and then Banana cake the next day. sigh.

Next week I am heading to Sunny California (without the kids!) to visit my friend Kate. I imagine most of my calories will come from wine while I am there! More on that in my next post!

Scale woes

2010-01-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

So, today I decided I hate the scale (again). I don't know why I keep focusing on numbers. I have been eating great, really working out yet I continue to rely on the numbers on the scale. I think it's time to put the scale away for awhile. But if you really MUST know, I was 138.0 today.

Here is last week's routine:

Monday: Cycling Class, Ab Blaster class, Core Strength Class, 2 mile run (3 hrs at the gym!)
Tuesday: 15/15/15 Class, 2 mile run
Wednesday:Yoga
Thursday: Run SIX miles
Friday: Total Body Sculpt, 2 mile run
Saturday: OFF
Sunday: Bootcamp 1.5mile run

According to my Heart Rate Monitor, I burned 3,332 calories this week at the gym! That is a personal record for me! AND that's almost an entire POUND! Can you see why I am frustrated with the scale???

Alas, I am feeling wonderful and that is more important than what the scale says.

Have a great week!

Week 2 re-cap

2010-01-17T05:36:00.000-08:00

Well, here's a recap of this past week - first exercise, then food:

Sunday: Ran 3.5 miles
Monday: Cycling class, Ab Class
Tuesday: Ran 4 miles
Wednesday: Yoga
Thursday: Ran 5 miles! (yeah baby!)
Friday: Total Body Sculpt class, Ran 2 miles
Saturday: OFF

Workouts rocked this week! I burned 2500 calories (not including Yoga). I wish I could take the sculpting class a few more times/week, but it's only available on Friday mornings. bummer.

Now... on to food... sigh. Sunday was my MIL's bday. My BIL made this amazing chocolate cake (from scratch) and I made lasagna. I did really well throughout the day (and was super glad I got a run in before the affair.) When we got home, I sneaked some cake- just a little bit. Bobby went away on Monday and while I was left alone with the kids, I was also left with the cake. ugh. I'll admit, the kids ate most of it, but I wasn't exactly on my best behavior. I found some Hagan Daas Strawberry ice cream in the freezer... nuff said.
Wednesday, after yoga, I took the kids out for lunch at Chick Fil A. (YUM!) and I indulged in a cookies n cream shake. It was that kind of day.
I have been pretty good food-wise since then- eating clean. I was especially good on Friday and Saturday.

The scale is the same this week. (138.6) But I am realizing that I am okay with that. I don't know if I will ever again see the low numbers that I used to see. I have a lot more muscle now. Back when I was in the low 130s, I was not lifting weights at all. I was "skinny fat."

I feel like I either don't eat enough or I eat too much. There is no happy medium. This week, I will work on that happy medium. Not 900 calories and not 2500 calories...but somewhere in between.
Did I mention my jeans fit comfortably again? That's really all I asked for, isn't it?

That said... I hear Girl Scout cookies just went on sale...

Week 1...

2010-01-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a week... but not really.
I started to eat clean again last Friday but on Saturday I hosted my long lost college BFF and her family for pizza (and salad - I made a really big awesome salad and even had chicken to go on top!) but after 2 bottles of wine, we dug into the pizza (well, we ate what was left on our kid's plates - because that doesn't count!) and then she pulled out these really awful, terrible, sinfully delicious things called "Gooey Bars." I don't know exactly what was in them... but I can tell you that there was nothing healthy and everything delicious about them - esp after 2 bottles of wine!
On Sunday, I woke up to a terrible hangover. But, I drank (er, sipped) a bottle of Krank'd and was good to go by the afternoon. I even made it to church. phew.
The problem was, we still had some gooey bars in the house. I couldn't throw them away. They were so delicious! I ate healthy all day as I un-Christmased the house and then the college BFF texted me to tell me she dug into her stash at home. uhoh. That was just permission for me to dig into mine as well. And I did - secretly (tsk tsk) I think Bobby was sneaking them too because every time I went for the plate it seemed there was less and less.
My mom came on Monday. I let her finish what was left. And I have not eaten sugar since. The end.

So, I owe this blog a weigh in, as promised last week. And here it is:

138.5 that's FIVE down! (But how much of it was real anyway???)

Higher than I'd like? Yes, still. But I'll take it! And I'll keep working towards a lower number. I have been counting my calories all week and watching my sugar. I feel good again.
I made it to the gym 4 times... here's how that looks:

M- Run/Walk and Elliptical + some weights + ab class
T- OFF (planned to go, but I waited for a friend who bailed by late morning and by then my day was shot)
W- Run 3.5 miles, Yoga Class
Th- Run 3 miles + some weights
F- Total Body Sculpt class (awesome) and Run 2 miles

Tomorrow I'll take off and Sunday I may take another sculpt class. Then I'll start fresh again on Monday - probably with cycling. I am not a fan of running lately - I am out of my groove, but this has happened before and I know I'll get it back. I am enjoying the variety of the classes I'm taking and feeling much much better.
The real test will be when I get my jeans on again. The still fit, but I think I'd prefer them to be less snug. Until then, I'll keep my yoga pants on and reserve the jeans for a 'special' occasion.

One more thing... my back is a mess. I fell on some ice in mid-December and injured my disks again. I have been seeing the chiropractor weekly and I am hoping the Yoga class I started this week will help too. I am feeling better already and I hope it continues.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T17:29:00.001-08:00

New year, New me.... actually I am just hoping to get back to the "Me" of 2008 and 2009.

The past few months have been a challenge for me in ways that go beyond my food issues. If you don't read my family blog, you wouldn't know that my dad passed away in October. He died on the day I was to run the Women's 5k Classic for the second time. I never officially signed up for the race and it's a good thing. Instead I was at my dad's side in his final moments of life.
Dad and I shared the same love for food. He battled his weight his entire life. I felt his pain. I still do. I understand the challenges and food battles he fought on a daily basis. And I am sure that every New Year he'd resolve to lose the weight. He tried many diets, but in the end he was always fat. He told me so many times that I inspired him. I wanted to help him, but I also knew that he needed to want to help himself before I could help him. Sometimes he seemed motivated, other times I just couldn't get through to him. He loved food too much. He didn't want to give it up.
In the end, Dad's fatty liver (a result of being overweight) became infested with cirrhosis, which turned into cancer. The cancer spread to his lungs and he died 4 days after being diagnosed. He was 62. Too young.

In the months since his death, I have become lax in my workouts (which I am sure dad is loving since he always told me I was over doing it.) I haven't cared much about the foods I have been feeding myself and I feel gross.

I was 143 on the scale today. My jeans are tight, heck, everything is tight! I am losing my tone and I am miserable.

This year I commit to clean eating. I will drink more water and I will work out again. I don't really consider these my 'resolutions' but these are lifestyle adjustments I need to get back to.
For real resolutions.... I'd like to pray more, eat less and read more books. easy, right?

So, this is what my new workout regime will look like starting Monday:

M: Ab class, Cycling class
T: Run, Jillian Michael's 30 day shredd
W: Yoga
R: Run, Total Body Sculpt
F: Ab Class, Run
S: OFF
S: Boot Camp

Hoping to keep this routine (or some semblance of it), I will check back next week with a (hopefully) new weigh in number. (and maybe one from my hubby as well- I am hoping to be his motivation!)

Have a great week!

Marathons!

2009-09-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

I ran the longest leg of the Lehigh Valley Marathon on September 13th - 6.5 miles. Our relay team (comprised of 5 moms from the gym) came in FIRST PLACE for our category - we completed the marathon in 3:34:34! We're famous at the gym now!

Of course, that event had me pumped for the Philadelphia ING Distance Run (half marathon) which I completed this past weekend. I finished in 2:02:42. My goal was to finish in under 2:15, but I knew even with that number I was giving myself some cushion. Realistically, I knew I could finish in 2:08. Needless to say, I am thrilled that I even finished at all!

All of the numbers listed are within seconds of my personal bests at each distance. Talk about consistent, eh?

My next event in November 1st - the Race for Hope 5k. Last year I ran it in 27:30. This year I want to finish in under 26min.

I will be working on my speed in the upcoming weeks/months - No real long runs in my future.

running and other stuff

2009-07-24T11:28:00.001-07:00

So my biggest news is that I have been asked to be part of a Relay team for The Lehigh Valley Via Marathon. I was thinking about running the half marathon event, but wasn't sure that I'd be ready by then. I am excited to be part of a relay team. I'll update on that when I have more info.

I have been taking Ab Blaster classes at the gym 3 times/week and I have to say that I am really noticing changes in my mid section. I am still flabby and stretched out - I don't think that will even go away without surgery - but I can feel my ab muscles (under my flab) and my waist has toned up a bit too.
I still want to have a tummy tuck... once our debt is paid off, I want to schedule a consultation. Right now, we don't have the money for such a big expense. But it's always in the back if my mind.

I finished a session of bootcamp last week and will attend another session starting next week. I really like it. I am meeting some great people and having a lot of fun. It is exactly the change I needed from the monotony of running.

I have been putting bad foods into my body. That will be a forever struggle and these days I have to take it one meal at a time to get through the day.

Home

2009-07-12T04:35:00.000-07:00

We had an awesome week at the shore. I ate too much pizza and ice cream... and fudge. blah. BUT.... I ran 4-5 miles every day except Wednesday. I even ran on the day we packed up to come home! I got in well over 25 miles in 1 week! I also did squats and lunges 3 times. Wish I worked my abs more. oh well.
This week I am back to the grind. I must fit nicely into a bridesmaid dress on Saturday, so I am off sugar again this week. My face is broken out and I am anxious to rid myself of it over the next few days while I detox.

Vacation!

2009-07-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

We're leaving in the morning for the beach. I am quite impressed with my dedication to exercise over the past 2 weeks. Bootcamp is just awesome and I have been cycling more too. Definitely not running as much, but I suspect I'll be running at the shore a lot this week. In fact, I might try to squeeze in the Fire Cracker 4 miler tomorrow morning, if time allows.
So, I don't know how much I weigh at the moment. I do know that my clothes are fitting great and I am feeling really better than great.
I don't plan to be on my best behavior while on vacation, but I am going into it armed with a plan. I am bringing many of the foods I eat regularly anyway and I hope to stick with a decent meal plan for most of the trip. But what's vacation without a little bit of indulgence?

I am almost positive that my next post will be me comlaining about how fat I feel...

See you in a week!

eek!

2009-06-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

129.9 today. The first time. 137 after that. whatever.

We went out to eat last night and I skipped out on drinks. Didn't really miss em. Okay, well, maybe just a smidge. But once committed to our friends that "I'm not drinking tonight," I knew I couldn't turn back. I skipped dessert (even tho the menu was phenomenal) but had a taste of Bobby's chocolate ice cream - it was Penn State Creamery ice cream, I could not resist.

Anyhow, I managed to work out every day this week and will take tomorrow (and maybe sunday) off. I'm becoming impressed with my strength again, and really pleased that I am starting to see more muscle definition.

Vacation starts in a week. I need a new bathing suit and cover up! Will shop this weekend.
I must continue my sugar strike this week, then we'll see what happens on vacation.

m-o-d-e-r-a-t-i-o-n. must remember.

Going on 2 weeks...

2009-06-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks without sugar. Phew. Okay, so I am potty training the boy twin and rewarding him with m&ms. I ate 3 last night. Three. That's all, just 3. Mmm, they were good. I remember that sweet things always taste so much better to me when I don't have sugar in my system.

I feel spectacular. Better than great! My skin and hair and nails are healthy, my clothes are fitting comfier than before and my energy is off the charts. And those xs shorts I got at Target last week? They are loose on me!
I look forward to getting dressed every day again... it's nice knowing that everything fits... and fits well. For awhile there, I was avoiding anything that had zippers or buttons.

The scale... I still hate the scale. this morning, it told me 131.7 - twice. Awesome. I feel 131.7. The next 5 times it said 135.8. Something is wrong with it, obviously. I wish I had my old scale back so I could compare. But... it doesn't matter, right? I feel good, and that is that.

Bootcamp started yesterday. It was rough, but worth it. I think I am going to like it a lot.

We leave for vacation a week from Saturday. When we return I'll have a different story to tell (a tale of pizza and ice cream and lazy days a the beach). Can't wait!

update

2009-06-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday on the scale I was 133.2. Today I was 135.2. I don't get it and I don't trust this scale.

The good news is, I FEEL 133ish. I bought a new pair of linen shorts last night at Target - they are xs. I FEEL skinny again. phew.

I ran 5 miles yesterday and could have done more if I had more time. I did squats, lunges, abs, chest, shoulders and back. I have been lifting again for about 3 weeks. I feel really good and toned. (and this might also be why the scale won't read what I want it to -muscle/water weight?)
I took a spinning class on Wednesday and I loved it. It's been a long time since I cycled. I am going to try to do it once/week. I also signed up for BootCamp twice/week at the park and it starts on Tuesday. I am excited - I think it will be the change of pace I am looking for. I still want to run - just not as much - I was getting burned out.

I found this fat pic of me from 4th of July 2007:

And here I am 4th of July 2008:

Have a great weekend!

Tales from the Scale

2009-06-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

I purchased a new scale last year. I like it because is weighs in .1 increments. My old scale measured in .5 increments. (I just sold the old one in my garage sale for 5 bucks - i think I paid about 85 for it 10 years ago when measuring body fat was a new fad.)

My new scale is a "weight watchers scale" (made by Conair) and it allows me to program up to 10 users (age/height/sex). It then tells you your weight, body fat (in percent and pounds) Bone density, water weight and BMI. In my opinion, these are all great stats to know and track if you are trying to lose weight.

My issue is this:
When I step on the scale as "User 1" (programmed for me: female, 30yo, 5'4) my weight is ALWAYS a few pounds lighter than if I were step on it without using the programmed user feature.

This scale is not consistent in its readings and it really messes with my head!

Today, I was 135.7 without using the program feature and 133.2 when I stepped on as "user 1"

How annoying, huh?

Day 5

2009-06-16T11:12:00.001-07:00

136 this morning. Still not eating enough. Must work on that.

Things I have noticed since I started to detox:

~I am sweating so much more when I run. One of the benefits of all the water I'm drinking.
~My running is in a slump. I presume it's because I'm not eating enough. Tried the elliptical today and pretty much hated it. Running is my sport, I must stick with it. On that note, I'm lifting weights again, and wanting to get back to the New Rules of Lifting, asap! Just taking it easy on my shoulder.
~My complexion has cleared up. For months I have been thinking that my hormones must be going nuts since I turned 30. It's amazing what a few days of eating right can do for your skin!
~Can't lie, my cravings are not completely gone. I didn stop to look twice at some glazed donuts at the store over the weekend. But then again its probably the wrong week of the month for me to start restricting sugar. PLUS, I had so much sugar in my system, maybe detox will take longer this time around.
~Dairy. I am trying to use soy when possible. I don't necessarily know if this will make a difference, but I thought it's worth a try anyway. I'm used to having cheese and yogurt, and without those to snack on, I'm sort of lost. And since dairy tends to be high(er) in fat, my fat intake has taken a cut as well.
~I'm sleeping better and feeling more energized during the day. Hooray for that!

Day 3

2009-06-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

137.0 today. The 'fluff' (that's what I call bloat) is just about gone and I am feeling really great. Today is Day 3 without sugar and I already feel so in control. I suspect I have not been eating enough over the past 3 days (coming in just over 1000 cals/day). I need to eat more, but needed these detox days to gain focus and control. 133... here I come - 4 lbs in 3 weeks, so doable!
And if I make it through today, the next 3 weeks will be cake (metaphorically speaking).

I'm hungry!

2009-06-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

Normally I say that the number on the scale doesn't matter - as long as I 'feel good.' Well, lately, I am NOT feeling good about myself. I feel gross. I feel sluggish and I feel, well, fat.
I've noticed my clothes feeling tighter. I'm not comfortable in them anymore. I want to be comfortable again.
So, I stepped on the scale yesterday morning. 139.2. Gulp. Time to take matters into my own hands (um, like they weren't all along?). We are going on vacation in 3 weeks. I want to feel comfortable again by then.

The food scale is back out on the counter and so are the measuring cups and spoons. I am drinking more water (much needed) and planning my meals on the daily plate. I am in control. But... I'm so hungry! I know this will pass in a few days. The first 3 days are always the hardest, and eliminating sugar makes it worse. Last night I had a killer headache from my sugar-free day.

I was thinking about the progression leading up to this point...

In mid-March I started to have binging episodes. After 2 weeks, I was ready to get back on track. I didn't. Easter came and went and I continued to eat junk. The binging stopped, but only because I was allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted. I vowed to get back on track at least twice. I had good days and bad days. I was weak, I caved so easily. But I was still running and training for Broad Street, and I used that as my excuse.
Since Broad Street, I have been in a major slump. Not wanting to run as much, continuing to eat what I want (and as much as I want) and not taking care of myself. I stopped taking my vitamins and fish oil. No wonder I feel run down.

Last month, I cut out coffee again and my doctor took me off the Nuvaring and put me back on Yaz. I can tell a difference just from those 2 things. Hopefully with proper hydration and diet, I can get back to my healthy self - the same self I was last year at this time.

I am not doing anything extreme, just the same stuff I was doing before. I hope I can drop a few pounds before vacation.

OH and today I got on the scale again (my daily scale fix will play an important roll in my efforts) and today it said 137.9. I'll take that over 139 anyday, but ultimately I'd like to see 133 again. And this time, I'm serious!

help me get my groove back

2009-05-16T07:34:00.001-07:00

It's been about 2 months that I have been 'off track.' The longer I deny it, the longer I will remain off track. I need to get back to my meal planning and regular weigh-ins.

While I have not been a slouch in my workouts, my diet needs to be re-vamped, for sure. I need to cut out the sugar and carbs and work on increasing proteins. I KNOW this will make me feel better. I KNOW if I just DO IT, I can regain control.

(besides, I dont have any fat clothes to wear, so if I start to gain, I'll have nothing to wear!)

So it's back to the drawing board. Back to planning my meals ahead of time and counting my calories.

I know I can do this. Cheer me on!

Broad Street Run Results

2009-05-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

I did it! TEN full miles - zero stops. I was aiming for one hour 30 minutes, but my actual finish time was probably more realistic. I'm just happy that I finished. period.

Bobby missed me at the finish line, but here I am afterward... soaking wet and cold!

Next (big) run: The Philadelphia ING Distance Run (half marathon) in September.

RUN TIME

2009-05-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

I's almost RUN TIME (again!)
On Sunday, I will be joining 25,000 other runners as I run the Broad Street Run. 25 hundred? You ask? Nope. Twenty Five THOUSAND - that's THREE zeros, people! This is the largest 10 miler in the country and it's been happening for 30 years. I know a bunch of people who are running this race - even my pregnant cousin... but I don't expect to even see them while I'm there.
I have been training for this since January and I am more than excited about this race! It is one step closer to my goal of running a half marathon in the Fall.

From what I have heard, the first three miles are elbow to elbow for this race. This year they have started a corral system for a more organized/efficient start. I will be running from the Green corral and I expect/hope to finish in an hour and a half.

Tonight I will hit up the "Not for Runners Only" Race Expo at Lincoln Financial Field (home of the Philadelphia Eagles) to pick up my race stuff (and maybe get a free chiro adjustment) Then I plan to eat ice cream and pancakes until Sunday morning. My training was complete as of yesterday at 3pm. Bring it on! I am so ready for this race!

EXCEPT...
I am battling a 'chest thing' this week... feeling coughy, head achy, and sniffly. I can deal with sniffles when I run, but the chesty cough has me concerned. I have continued my trainging through the week with ease, but needless to say, I have been chasing Advil and multi-vitamins with AirBorne round the clock since Sunday.

Wish me luck!

Confession

2009-04-27T21:00:00.001-07:00

I am not afraid to eat the cheese at the deli counter anymore. You know, the first slice they cut and show you to see if it's cut alright? (okay, well maybe your deli doesn't do that, but mine does.) Anyway, I always used to pass on the free cheese. But now, now I eat it... and I enjoy it. I have come to realize that cheese is a food that I really like, so why not indulge and be aware at the same time?
Not to mention, the protein will keep me full while I continue my shopping - preventing me from putting other forbidden stuff in the cart. (no really, if you read my thriftyblog, you'll know that there is no room for 'forbidden stuff' - my lists are planned in detail before I step foot in the store - but that's a post for another day on another blog!

10k and food struggles

2009-03-31T11:25:00.001-07:00

I ran my first 10k (6.2 miles) last Saturday. I finished in 56:24 and took 2nd place in my age group and 41st overall.
I was on the fence about running this race since it was on Robert's birthday, but I am so glad I ran. I needed this race to really psych me up for the 10 mile Broad Street Run in May.

My eating, on the other hand, has been not so award winning. I did great for the first 3 weeks of Lent and then when my nasty pms/pmdd set in, I lost all control. I was literally eating cake and candy everyday and feeling like crap because of it. I justified it by all the running I have been doing, but really I need to stop making excuses and stop eating like a fat kid.

I read an article online last week about a show that Oprah did - about a woman who was 1200 lbs. She said she had struggled with FOOD all of her life. I found that to be an interesting approach. I've heard people say "I have always struggled with my weight." I know those struggles. But to hear the word "food" in place of the word "weight" really hit home for me. Especially now that my weight is no longer my main struggle, and my love for food remains.
Thought I'd throw that out there.

About a month ago, a friend from high school contacted me on facebook. She was looking for some help to lose some weight, and had lots of questions for me. I gave her some advice, and she decided right then and there that she was going to lose some weight and get healthy. We would meet up on FaceBook each night for the first week or so. She would re-cap her day, telling me what she ate, how she felt and we'd set some goals and plan what she was going to eat for the next day together. That was early March. My friend has now lost 10 lbs!!! I am so proud of her and I now refer to her as my protege! She is making the right choices and getting healthy.
You go girl!

I still have not been lifting weights. I don't think I ever posted about my shoulder injury. I had an MRI about 6 weeks ago which revealed that I have a badly torn tendon in my shoulder. I've been doing physical therapy to strengthen it but I am still experiencing pain on a daily basis. It's hard for me to 'just rest' it because I am constantly lifting the kids. My doctor is concerned that one false move is going to tear it completely resulting in surgery. But what can I do? I can't just stop caring for my kids... so I am just taking it easy and trying not to use it as much as possible. Some days even putting on my shirt is painful.
I am starting to feel flabby, and need to incorporate some abs and low body weights into my regime... at the very least.

So, that's about all from me. I'll try to update more often, but since I have been binge eating, I haven't felt much like keeping up with the blog. What can I say? I'm human. But that doesn't make it okay.

No sugar, No guilt

2009-03-05T09:14:00.001-08:00

So, I have not had sugar in 9 whole days. I feel good. I am sleeping well, running great and eating great too! I don't feel deprived and something weird has happened... I don't get 'hungry' as often as I used to. I don't have an urge to snack like I used to. I don't have cravings. And I don't feel guilty eating real food. I had no guilt eating pizza on the kids' birthday. For lunch today I polished off hubby's leftovers from his dinner out last night. No guilt. I didn't over indulge. I don't feel bloated and yucky for eating to much. I ate 'enough' of something that tasted good. And that was that.

I don't think anyone takes me seriously when I tell them that sugar is my poison. Once I have it, I need more. After 4 days without it, I didn't even care that everyone was eating cake and ice cream at my kid's birthday party. I just had an extra slice of pizza instead. No guilt.

Last night a friend called. She is a running buddy and she's pretty conscious about what she eats. She told me that she 'can't stop eating junk.' and she didn't know why. She said that every morning she'd wake up and say to herself "I am not going to eat junk today." And then she caves.
I told her that I know why... Her blood sugar is out of whack. She eats crap and then her body wants more of it. she feeds it more and then she wants even more. I challenged her to cut sugar out - warning her that the first 3 days would really suck. I am curious to see if she follows through and if it works for her.
I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on this blog. I don't know much about blood sugar and insulin and all that jazz, but I DO know that HOW you eat effects how you FEEL! I didn't lose 35 lbs by limiting my sugar. I lost it by eliminating it and replacing those empty calories with 'good for me', whole foods.

I'm not saying I'll never eat ice cream again. I can't wait to eat it again... but I just don't crave it like used to. Moderation: its what I achieve once my blood sugar is back under control.

Real Food

2009-02-26T11:07:00.000-08:00

The following is a list of foods I used to consider forbidden. Now I eat them, in moderation, because I know they are NOT bad for me!

Peanut Butter - LOVE it. spread on an english muffin or with sugar free jam on squishy wheat bread. I usually get my daily fix when I steal the kid's crust from their pb&j at lunch.

Cheese - protein! yum! String cheese has become one of my favorite snacks! I also like cottage cheese in the evenings, with some strawberries or sugar free strawberry jam mixed in.

Avocado - now I eat some almost every day, usually on my sandwich at lunch.

Olive Oil - i used to hate the idea of how much fat was in olive oil, but now just a 1/2 tbsp is all I need to sautee veggies.

Butter - I much prefer a small amount of the real stuff to that fake junk. I don't use it often, so when I do, I make sure its the good stuff.

Eggs - REAL eggs! I always used egg beaters but nothing beats a real egg. (get it? haha) I like them hard boiled in a salad, or in an omelet.

Beans - black beans, garbanzo beans, kidney beans - all high in protein and fiber. (I never really considered these forbidden, they were just a food I never appreciated before) I use beans to bulk up my turkey burgers or in salads.

Milk- I used to drink skim. Over the years, I have adapted to 1%, but I won't go higher than that. Since I don't prefer to 'drink' my calories, I have always tried to avoid 'a glass of milk' but every now and then I really crave a cold glass of milk (usually when I have pb&j) and I view it as a good source of protein, not wasted calories.

Mayo- not gonna lie here. I use Canola Mayo. It doesn't taste much different to me, and I like the idea of canola oil better than vegetable oil. I have yet to try the mayo with Olive oil, but I am willing to bet I'd like it just as much.

Nuts - The key with nuts is portion control. I love pistachios and cashews and almonds. I sometimes buy a pack of nuts to keep in my purse. Trail mix is also a great snack. Just remember to measure!

My point is, these are REAL whole foods, and in moderation, they are NOT bad for you. As long as you portion control you may find yourself more satisfied from the real thing than from any substitute.

Body Image and sweets

2009-02-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

I took this picture of myself a few weeks ago at a bridal salon where I tried on the bridesmaid dress for my sister in law's wedding. I'll be ordering a size 12. 12! Everyone knows those wedding/bridesmaid dresses are not true to size. And in case you didn't know, now you do! I am not a 12, but some days I feel like I am. I was having a fat day this day. I probably shouldn't have taken a picture. but the truth is, I can look at pictures of myself and see a different person than who I see in the mirror. I was looking at some pictures from my birthday dinner a few weeks ago, and truly did not recognize myself. Once I realized it was me, I couldn't stop checking myself out! :)

I have decided to give up sugar for Lent this year. I did a 'trial' last week. I lasted 6.5 days! I even resisted cake at a birthday party on Saturday. On Sunday I was craving Chinese food so that was the end of that. I knew Fat Tuesday was coming and I always consider that a cheat day. I must have at least one fastnacht each year on Fat Tuesday. And then of course, Ash Wednesday we fast so it all evens out I guess.

Anyway... on those 6 days that I wasn't eating sugar, I felt great, wonderful, even fantastic! I had more energy, I was sleeping better and my runs were great! The proof is in the (no sugar added) pudding. Sugar is my poison. When I eat it, my body craves more of it. When I don't have it, my blood sugar is stabilized and my body image is great. I actually started to feel 'skinny' - not bloated and full. AND I can eat MORE! Since I am not wasting my calories on highly caloric 'empty' foods, I can spend my calories on lots of other 'good for me' stuff.

For me, what I eat reflects how I see myself. When I am eating well, I feel skinny. When I eat like crap, I feel fat. Anyone getting this?

There are 365 days in a year. I should be able to live without sugar for just 40 of those days.

I challenge you to cut sugar from your diet and see if it makes a difference in how you feel. I won't lie, the first 2-3 days are hard. But once you have it out of your system, you simply won't miss it.

Cheer me on OR better yet JOIN ME in my Lenten Challenge!

and for those who are curious:
I average 35-50g sugar/day. I eat NOTHING refined and stick to low sugar fruits (berries instead of bananas, grapes or pineapple) My daily intake comes mostly in the form of dairy (milk and light yogurt)I use artificial sweetener and 1/2c milk in my one daily cup of coffee.

Stuff

2009-02-09T11:24:00.000-08:00

I decided this past week that I will run the Broad Street Run in Philadelphia this May. It is 10 miles of flat roadway and the largest 10 miler in the country. I needed a goal to focus on, and this is perfect. If I complete it, I will try to find a half marathon to run in the fall.

I have not lifted in 3 weeks. My shoulder is still healing. Today was the first day I was able to lift my arm bent with minimal pain. My physical therapy seems to be working. I am anxious to start lifting again, but I must be honest, I didn't realize how much I really missed running. I have tried to step up my running since I have been injured. Last week I ran 26 miles. This week, I am aiming for the same.

I chopped my hair. It's very short, and I love it! I never thought I could pull off short hair. I totally can!

I eliminated sugar last week. It took 2 full days for me to not crave it and by the third day I was able to look right at the thin mints in the freezer and not even care about their existence.
Two days later, it was my birthday, so I contaminated my body with more of the white stuff.
I decided I will give up sugar for Lent this year. Usually, I give up ice cream every year, but this year I'm going to be hard core. I feel so much better when I don't have it. I exercise better, I sleep better and I just function better in general. I can do this.

My next post will be on body image. I was going to cram it all in here, but I felt that ot deserved its own post. Stay tuned...

Choices

2009-02-02T04:28:00.000-08:00

Last week was hectic.
My choices started on Wednesday night. It snowed on Wednesday. B was home from work and decided after his shoveling extravaganza that he wanted pizza for dinner. (rightly so) He ordered Papa John's from his iPhone (which I think is really the only reason he wanted pizza anyway) and it arrived within 20 minutes. I didn't plan to eat any, since I had already had planned out my dinner, but I allowed myself one slice. Yeah, one slice of regular and then one slice of Pan. In 10 minutes, I managed to consume over 800 calories. I was so disgusted with myself that I decided I might as well get some ice cream too. Bad choice. We made a run to Sonic and I got my favorite Sticky Bun Dough blast (another 500 plus yummy calories)

I hosted my monthly MommiesClique meeting on Thursday. I had a chiropractor appointment and did some shopping on Friday. I went to a neighbor's for a demonstration that evening. Needless to say, my eating has been all over the place. I either ate too much or didn't eat enough. I am sure it all evened out in the end. Somehow, through all of that busy-ness I managed to make it to the gym 5 times - running 16 miles total and doing the elliptical one day. (it really helps to have a buddy to work out with!) Good choice.

On Saturday, the GirlScout cookies that I ordered arrived. I had a few. I hadn't been tracking my food since Thursday (bad choice) When we were out earlier in the day, I decided I wanted a big fatty Italian sub for lunch. I hadn't craved one of those since I was pregnant with Robert. (No, folks, not pregnant again - that would require a Bad Choice post of it's own!)

Yesterday, I woke up hungry (crazy blood sugar) and thinking about the PB swirl ice cream in the freezer and the thin mints in the pantry. I thought for a moment. It was Super Bowl Sunday and we had no plans. I could continue to eat poorly for yet another day or I could pick myself up and actually nourish my body with good foods. The choice was mine. B said that in honor of my "birthday week" I should indulge. Indulge? Isn't that what I have been doing since Wednesday? I made a Good Choice and decided that I was going to eat healthy that day. I planned out what I was going to eat and tracked it. I was in control and it was MY choice.
I let the kids polish off the ice cream (I was a bit jealous) and I finished the day on a high and healthy note. Good choices all day long.

injured... again

2009-01-26T13:32:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I signed up for a Push Up Challenge with my friends on Twitter. The goal is to be able to do 100 push ups in 6 weeks. I was able to do 25 military push ups, with good form, by 2 weeks into the challenge. Then... my shoulder started to hurt. I didn't think anything of it for about a week and thought it might go away on its own. I continued my weight lifting routines and popped some Advil when necessary. On Friday, when I was taking a shower, my entire arm started to throb. I knew something was not right. I had a routine appointment with my chiropractor that evening, and I decided to mention it to him.
He spent some time with me, using big words and muscle groups that I can't even remember. The gist of it is that I am suffering from a severe strain and my shoulder is very unstable -popping all over the place (most likely from too many push ups combined with the heavy weights I've been lifting) and I need to lay off the upper body weights for awhile - until I am healed. He set me up with the physical therapist and she gave me some great exercises to strengthen my shoulders. I am already feeling better.

Luckily, there is an UP side. This my week off between stages of New Rule of Lifting. So, I might have to take an extra week in addition to this one, but I am willing to do what it takes to get back to where I need to be to before I continue my to lift. Needless to say, no more push ups for awhile! I am going to step up my cardio while my shoulder heals. At least I can run!

As far as my diet goes.... blah. My diet has been crappy. I have been eating too much junk! (and I just ordered 3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies!) I feel less in control than I have in the past - even though I am still tracking what I eat and counting my calories religiously. The scale continues to be UP (137ish -I need to get rid of that darn thing!) and my inches have pretty much stayed the same since last time I took them. I don't think I have gained any fat - if anything it's muscle/water, but those numbers really play tricks on the mind regardless.

There are just 2 weeks until my 30th birthday. I am really going to be disciplined until then. I figure I might shed a few pounds if I really behave. Lifting has always caused me to retain water, so maybe by taking a break from lifting, I'll see the scale move down AND more importantly re-gain some control over what I put into my body.

Today, I am STARVING!

My husband is cheating on me!

2009-01-15T10:33:00.001-08:00

Last night, while the kids were in the tub, I sat on the toilet (lid down) and folded the laundry - whites. I HATE whites. Too many socks and onesies.

I came across a white lacy thong, and while I knew it had to be mine, I thought for just a micro second that my husband was cheating on me. But, it was mine. You see, when I'm skinny I feel sexy and out comes the sexy underwear.... I used to wear granny panties, good old cotton briefs, but they're long gone now.

So then I began to wonder... Is Bobby really cheating on me? Is he cheating on the old me with the new skinnier version of me? I'll have to ask him about this. Of course, his answer will depend completely on my view of the subject. This could get deep!

Does this make sense or should I go eat some cookies?

99% Inspiration, 1% Perspiration

2009-01-07T09:12:00.000-08:00

My friend Soniya joined my gym! We are going to work out together tonight. Since I have belonged to this gym, I have never 'worked out with a friend.' I have 'made friends' there through classes and, well, just being there ALL the TIME, but now I have a friend that I can exercise with! I am excited.

I am inspiring people all around me to start the New Rules of Lifting! I now have 3 friends that have started the program because of my endorsements, and I am anxious to see their progresses!

*****

I have started Stage 2 of NROL4W. It's hard. I felt like an idiot trying to learn the new moves yesterday, but I am told it will get easier. I have always enjoyed a good challenge, so bring it on!
Today, I am sore and I love it!

Resolutions

2008-12-29T04:52:00.000-08:00

Every year for the past, oh maybe 15, or so years I have made a New Year's Resolution to lose weight and get into shape.
This year, since I have accomplished that goal, I don't exactly know what my resolution will be. I think one will certainly be to finish The New Rules of Lifting for Women. This program is kicking my butt.
I took my measurements on the 20th.
Shoulders: 39.5" (I didn't measure these the first time and I so wish I had because this is where I notice the biggest difference in how my clothes fit.)
Bicep: 10"
Chest: 31.5"
Waist: 29.75" (This was 32.5 last time - I never added it in after I actually found out where my waist was - NOT at the belly button, but above it.) This is another place I feel a huge difference.
Belly Button: 32.75"
Hips: 35.25
Thigh: 19.25
Calf: 14.5

I finished Stage 1 last week and will begin Stage 2 next week. (There are 7 stages) I need a complete week off between each stage. I'll measure again when I finish Stage 2. I don't anticipate much change in my legs, but more inches lost in the waist/belly button area would be great!

I can't believe I have actually lost my desire to jump on the scale. Back when I was addicted to the scale, I could never imagine not weighing myself multiple times a day. Now, the scale sits lonely, and I don't dare get on it. It took a long time, but I finally gained power over the scale and I can resist. I know I am strong, I know I am healthy and I certainly don't need a number on the scale to tell me that. If you had told me 6 months ago that I would feel this way today, I'd think you were nuts!
Now, I am off to think of more resolutions... I think another might be to update my 'thrifty blog' more often. OH and I also resolve to not buy anything without a coupon! :)

Maybe I should resolve to not eat cookies.

Cookies

2008-12-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year... cookie season, er, I mean Christmas. )Not to be confused with Girl Scout Cookie Season. That is a whole other post, which I am sure will come in the Spring - right after I polish off my first sleeve of Thin Mints. :) )

R and I made 6 dozen sugar cookie cut outs yesterday. I.can.not.stop.eating.them. YUM! (Aunt Joan- I used your recipe - they are the best!)
Tomorrow it is going to snow all day and hubby is going to make Chocolate chip cookies (3rd time this week!) and Peanut Butter blossoms. The kids have been having cookies with every meal. What the hell, it's the holidays!

Last weekend I ran the Christmas City Classic 5 Miler in downtown Bethlehem. I was so so so nervous about it. It was about 20 degrees outside and it snowed the entire race! My friend/college roommate, Kristen, and my friend/neighbor, Amy, ran with me. Actually, Amy ran ahead - and finished the race in 38 minutes. This was her first race since she had a baby in July. She is an avid runner - she rocks. She placed 3rd in her age group.
Kristen and I finished in 42:12. She could have done better than that, but she waited for me - damn she is fast! It was her first race ever and I am so proud of her. She did so great! I only wish she would have gone ahead of me, so she could have made better time. But her speed helped me to earn my personal best! In fact, we got to the finish line before Bobby, so he missed his photo op! oh well.
I think I might be done with races for now. I am really going to concentrate on this whole weight lifting thing. I have been doing this new program for a month and I have already noticed changes in my body. I am anxious to take my measurements this weekend.

More Before Pics

2008-12-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

I took these pictures on November 23rd. They are my 'Before" shots. I want to take pics every month when I do my measurements.
The New Rules of Lifting is a 6 month program. So my final "After" shots will be in May.

From Flabs to Abs

2008-12-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

I just starting noticing that I actually have muscle under my belly fat! And when I flex, my belly gets hard as a rock - Proof that this new exercise plan is working!

I plan to take my official measurements again in about 2 weeks, and in the mean time I want to purchase a body fat tester. But... I cheated and took a few measurements yesterday for fun. I was prompted to do this because my new size 4 jeans are totally loose in my butt and my small shirts are loose around the shoulders. I have lost .5 in my bust and 1 inch in my waist and .5 in my thigh. My legs are hard and toned too. All my fat is in my belly, and I am anxious to see it disappear now that I know there is really muscle under there!

I finally purchased a heart rate monitor, and I am going to use it today for the first time.

My knees have been hurting from sprinting on the treadmill, so I need to take it easy this week so I am ready for Saturday's 5 mile race.

Turkey Trot... and other stuff

2008-12-01T03:51:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone. I had a plan for the 'gluttonous' holiday.... it was to be gluttonous! It's just 'a day' and the next day was a new start. Everyone else in the country was eating terribly, so what's the big deal? The most important thing is to not let one bad day turn into a few bad days which could lead to weeks of bad choices. I got right back on track on Friday... sort of...
Let's start with Wednesday night. I planned to eat ice cream - a ritual I celebrate before any race and Thursday's Turkey Trot was no exception. We visited DH's grandparents for dinner that evening. Grandmom makes the best meatballs! We had meatball sandwiches and pasta - a perfect pre-race meal. No big deal. I ate some (probably too much) ice cream at my mom and dad's house afterwards. It was the good stuff - real, premium, 9 grams of fat per serving stuff. yum! I went over my calories for the day, and I didn't wrork out at all. oops.
Thursday was Thanksgiving. I got up early and had a normal breakfast. The race started at 8:30. I finished 5 miles in 44:16! Better than I thought I'd do! It was cold out there, but I am so glad I did it!

Then I went home and ate... and ate and ate some more. Gluttony.

Friday I got to the gym pretty early andgot a good weight routine in and then did some interval training. I was pretty hungry all morning (blood sugar out of wack from gluttony!) and fought it. I tried to drink ots of water and eat normally. Then, it happened... Leftovers! Why do I always forget about leftovers??? I made a turkey sandwich and contained myself. No problem.
We went out to dinner that night with DH's uncle. He took us to a Chilean restaurant. Interesting, I had broiled salmon and some black beans with salad and a Mojito (a skinny mojito) I was looking forward to dessert, but we were running late for the show, so we had to go. I had apple pie when I got home. yum again.
Satuday, I ran outside. I had my food pretty much under control. We visited more relatives that night and I ate lightly since dinner wasn't exactly healthy.
On Sunday I got on the scale. I was UP five pounds. FIVE! WTF? water weight, pre-mentrual weight gain, etc. Whatever. My size 4s still fit, so I am not worried. Then again, maybe they are just stretched out from wearing them so much!
I must remain behaved for as much of December as possible. Today is day 1.
No more scale. I don't know why I do this to myself.

Throwing out the scale...

2008-11-20T08:54:00.000-08:00

This is going to be tough for me. I find it hard to resist jumping on the scale most mornings and having it reveal to me what my mood is going to be for the rest of the day.

I have been lifting some pretty heavy duty weights lately, and the numbers on the scale have not been pretty. I am gaining muscle and really toning. So, while I know I haven't 'gained fat' it is still disheartening to see the numbers rise and accept that it is true muscle that I am gaining.

So for now, I will live by my trusty tape measure ($1.67 at Walmart!) and trust that I am burning fat and building muscle - all while maintaining my current weight (and eating a TON!)

After all, I did just buy size 4!!! jeans at Old Navy last week. My ass looks great in them (thanks, squats) and my waist is smaller than I think it is! These things have been glued to my body which has been great for my self esteem.

Chest: 32" (yikes! hope that doesn't get much smaller!)
Waist: 32.5" (at belly button)
Hips: 35.75"
Mid-Bicep: 10.25"
Mid-Thigh:19.5"
Mid-Calf: 14"

The New Rules of Lifting

2008-11-10T10:24:00.001-08:00

So, I have been dabbling in this new book "The New Rules of Lifting for Women" I have not yet tried the exercises that it advises, but I like the idea of the book - It states that its a myth that women will 'bulk up' from lifting weights - that women can lift like men (heavy weights) and have the body of a goddess. It teaches how to 'feed your muscles' to build them and keep them strong because muscle is what burns fat and will continue to burn long after your workout is complete. In order to work efficiently, muscle must be fed. The book stresses the importance of a healthy diet while trying to build muscle (duh) and really focuses on eating a good split of carbs, fats and proteins in 6 meals each day. We should be focusing on less cardio at the gym and more weight training.
I really dig the concept. I love that I can eat a ton... I love that I can eat pb&j!

I have been noticing slight changes in my body since starting with free weights. My tummy look different. It's still stretched and gross from my twin skin, but there seems to be less flab. Still room for improvement tho.
I am noticing some definition in my arms and legs, too. I've cut back a bit on my running, but I still feel incomplete without it.

My confidence is higher than ever. I feel good. I feel healthy and I am so proud that I am setting a good example for my kids. R often spots a runner outside and comments that they are "strong and healthy." When I get home from the gym he asks "Did you have fun exercising?" and sometimes he'll say "I am a fast runner like mommy."

2nd Race

2008-11-03T04:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I ran my 2nd race - The Race for Hope - to raise awareness and support for Brain Tumors. My Aunt Loretta suffered with brain tumors and lost her battle 2 years ago this month. I was part of her team for this race. I love racing for a cause.
My mom walked the 5k with my Aunt Joan my and cousins. And some of us ran - Uncle Charlie (Aunt Loretta's hubby and a former marathoner) and Aunt Loretta's 5 kids (she has twins like me.) It was so great to see my cousins. I thought of her the whole time I ran - my run was a tribute to her - to celebrate her life. She was so full of life. I miss her.

I crossed the finish line in 27:30. I was aiming for 27 minutes even, but I am pleased with my time. I am still waiting for the official results. It was a good run - but sooo cold outside!

Next race is a 5 miler - The Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day. I hope my sister will run with me. I am pretty sure it's the same race route as the Race for Hope.

Work out wrap up 10/19-10/25

2008-10-25T15:02:00.000-07:00

Sunday: Rest (recovery from race AND wedding)
Monday: Run 4 miles (don't have the time for this one)
Tuesday: Run 4 miles 36:14/upper and lower body weights
Wednesday:Run 5 miles 44:07
Thursday: Run 6 miles 52:25/upper and lower body weights
Friday: REST
Saturday: Run 3.5 miles 32:23 /Upper Body weights only

22.5 mi

Didn't past last week's workout wrap up - I lost my workout info when I rest my iPod! Oh well. I know I ran 21 miles, but only managed to lift weights 2 times during the week.

Too much info

2008-10-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

About 10 days ago, I was convinced I had Compulsive Eating Disorder. I couldn't stop thinking about food and obsessing about it. I couldn't stop snacking. I really thought something was wrong with me.

Then I got my period.

Turns out there really is nothing wrong with me at all. I just had PMS.

argh. Being a woman really sucks sometimes!

Change in Routine

2008-10-23T11:00:00.001-07:00

My body needed a change. I was getting bored with the same weight lifting routine week after week. I inquired at my gym about having someone show me some different things to do with free weights, but they told me that is considered "Personal Training" and will cost me $35/session. Maybe I'll consider putting that on my Christmas list this year, but for now I have a good enough idea of what I need to be doing. I used to use free weights in high school, I remember most of the exercises I need to use. And I always have the internet as a reference.
So, last week, I started a new routine and boy was a sore after the first day! It feels so good to be working my muscles in a new and different way.
I have been taking Yoga for 4 months now, and I am bored with that too. So I'll probably take a break from it when the next session comes around.

I weighed in at 131.0 last time I stepped on the scale. All is well.

Then last night I had a big fight with a box of Honey Bunches of Oats. It wasn't pretty. The cereal won. My urges are still here, just few and far between I guess. Ugh, some days I just disgust myself.

First Race!

2008-10-18T10:07:00.001-07:00

I completed the Women's Classic this morning - I placed 105th out of 300 (I really thought there were more 5mile runners since my bib number was 400 - but the results page only showed 300 runners) That's me on the left with my arms up!
I ran my first mile in 8:17. I was pumped. Mile 2 was 17:24. At about 2.5 miles I saw Robert and my uncle along the side of the course and he shouted "Hi Mommy" - that made my adrenaline rush. Miles 3 and 4 were pretty much a blur. The last mile had 3 steep hills. I pushed through them as hard as I could and really started to run hard at the end. I saw Bobby at about 1/4 mile to the finish line and I thought I was done - so I was losing energy. By the time I crossed the line, I thought I was going to hurl!

I can see how these races can be addictive. I can't wait until the Race for Hope on November 2nd!

Below: My cousin Tina, my Aunt Lorraine and me!

Stopping the fat talk

2008-10-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

Just found this link on Ronisweigh and felt compelled to re-post:

https://secure.pursuantgroup.net/pursuant4/deltadeltadelta/fall08/dddselect/flashstory.asp

The thoughts are frightening - did you know that more women in the US suffer from eating disorders than breast cancer?

I know I fall into those percentages somewhere. I know for sure I have body image issues.

The challenge is now to focus on health and not weight and/or size. It's a hard thing to do.

thanks for the link, Roni!

Parkway Race -this weekend!

2008-10-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I will be participating in the Women's 5k Classic - an all women event with the option of running OR walking a 5k or doing a 5mile run. I planned to run the 5k with my Aunt and my cousin.

Last night, I received a confirmation email with all the info I needed for the race. When I went to look up my bib number, I saw that I was registered for the 5 MILE run NOT the 5k. I know that I registered for the 5k, but somehow I am now registered for running the 5 miler. I hesitated for a bit last night, and sent my aunt an email asking her what I should do. I have the option of changing my race until Friday night at 7pm. My Aunt says I should "Go for it!"
I don't have a problem running 5 miles - I've done it many times before. But something about me is nervous for this. Most likely it's the 'competition' part - but I am not in it to win it - just in it to finish.

Will update after the race!

PS did not weigh in yet this week - bad time of the month for me! Maybe in a few more days!

Work out wrap up 10/5-10/11

2008-10-10T03:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday: REST
Monday: Run 5.25 miles 53:18
Tuesday: Run 5 Miles 44.:56/Weights
Wednesday: 40 min Spin class/ 3.1 mile run 29:02/ab class
Thursday: Run 6 miles 54:48/Weights
Friday:45 min spin class/ ab class/ run 1 mile 8:43 (killing time between classes!)
Saturday: Run 4.5 miles 40:17/Weights

This week may have included some of my personal bests - I have t look at my old stats and see.

250 miles! (and maintenance)

2008-10-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

Today, Lance Armstrong announced to me on my NikePlus that I have reached 250 miles!
I started using my NikePlus system back in mid-July. So, that means that since then I have logged in 250 miles. Not bad. I am averaging about 20 miles/week.

I am now eating for maintenance. I get 2200 calories/day (whoa baby!) in addition to the 500-700 calories I burn at the gym 5-6 days/week. I have never not been on a diet (with the exception of being pregnant or postpartum) So learning to eat to maintain is a new thing for me. I doubt I'll ever eat as much as I am allowed, but it's nice to know that if I do, I don't have to feel guilty.

Which brings me to my next topic... Guilt. How do I not associate food with guilt? I can't help it... its always something I've done. I feel guilty when I go out to eat for a special occasion. I feel guilty walking through the bakery at Wegman's. Why can't I just look at a menu, order what I want and not think about the calories or fat or how soon after I can squeeze in a run? Why can't I just pick up a pack of canolis or a pumpkin whoopie pie and put them in my cart without thinking about the guilt I am going to feel after I eat it or better yet why can't I think of just eating one serving and not the whole thing? Why can't I just enjoy food and not worry about it? I guess ofter years and years of yo-yo dieting, it's just normal for me. But why? It's not fair. I feel like a prisoner to food. Can anyone out there relate? Or am I crazy?
I love food. I love to eat. I wish I didn't have this mentality or addiction.

So, we'll see how this maintenance thing goes. I just started a few days ago, and I have managed to eat TOO MUCH cinnamon toast crunch the past 2 nights (because I could- argh!)

I weigh in next week - on Wednesday.

Work out wrap up 9/28-10/4 AND race schedule

2008-10-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

Sunday: REST
Monday: 5 miles 49:16/ 1 hour Yoga
Tuesday: 4 miles 38:11
Wednesday: 3.25 31:16/ 45 min Spin class/ 15 min Ab class/ upper body weights
Thursday: 7 miles 1:05:00/ Lower Body weights
Friday: REST
Saturday: 4 miles 34:36/Upper and Lower body weights

Kids were sick early in the week, so I wasn't able to get to the gym Monday or Tuesday. Thank goodness for the treadmill in the basement.
I was still able to get in close to 25 miles this week. The 7 miler on Thursday tore up my feet.
****
I am now registered for 2 races. I am part of team "Live Laugh Love" in honor of my Aunt Loretta in the Race for Hope to benefit the Brain Tumor Society on November 2nd. I am planning to run The Christmas City Classic 5 Miler on December 13th with my friend/neighbor Amy. This race is just for fun. I get to get all dressed up in red and green and run with bells on my shoes and pretty much just look goofy.

I also plan to run a 5k on Thanksgiving Day and hopefully I'll run The Women's 5k Classic with my aunt on October 18th.

It's a busy Fall in the race world!

Brace yourself...

2008-10-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

That's ME - 3 months postpartum twins - May 2007. OMG. I knew I was big, but really, I was HUGE! I'm not sure who snapped this pic or WHY they would do such a thing. I was 183 lbs and a size 16. wow. We were on vacation at the Jersey shore when this was taken. I ate pizza and ice cream every day. Ah, the boardwalk.

Jeans revisted

2008-09-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

Back in April I posted about my size 8 jeans, and getting back into my favorite skinny jeans.

Now I have returned to re-post about said jeans...
Here I am in them today:
I have always wanted to post a pic like that. I only wish I didn't get rid of the size 16s I used to wear -imagine how far they would have stretched!

yesterday I purchased a pair of chinos from JCrew. They were size 2.

Here I am in jeans that fit like they should:

Work out wrap up 9/21-9/27

2008-09-25T11:24:00.001-07:00

Sunday: Rest
Monday: Run 5 miles 45:08/ 1 hour yoga class
Tuesday: Run 4.5 miles 40:36/weights
Wednesday: 45 minute Spin class/ 15 minute ab class /run 3.5 miles 34:24
Thursday: Run 5 miles 44:45/weights
Friday: 45 minute Spin class/15 minute ab class
Saturday: Run 3.1 miles (5k)/weights

I really enjoy the Ab Blaster class that my gym offers. I am going to try to get there Mondays and Wednesdays in the mornings so I can take the class more regularly. It's about time I do something with these (fl)abs.

A Whole Bunch of Stuff

2008-09-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ever have a really great day? A day where everything seems to be going your way and you see everything positive? I am having one of those days today. I seem to have more patience with the kids than usual, and I feel like I have accomplished so much!

I woke up early today - before the kids. I made some coffee (I just started drinking it again - ugh) and sat and watched the news for about 10 minutes before Robert got up.
Everyone was up, dressed and fed by 7:15 and we were out the door, heading to the gym by 7:45. I dropped in to the 8am Spin class and stayed for the 15 minute Ab Blaster class afterward. (Both were awesome!)
While there, I made some new friends - some really friendly stay at home moms with kids the same age as my kids. Turns out our kids had all been playing together at the gym for months, and we never knew it.
By 10am, we were home and soon after it was lunch time. I let R play with play doh in the basement while I hopped on the treadmill and burned out 3.5 miles. I could have done more, but I had other stuff to get done in the house while A&A slept. Besides, I had already met my quota for cardio today.
And here I sit - updating you on me...

What else? Well, I am so back in control - I have lost another 2.5 pounds and I am sooo close to my goal of 128. I can't wait to get there!

It's pumpkin season again. How much do I love Pumpkin roll? And Pumpkin ice cream? And Pumpkin Pie blizzards from DQ? Yikes! I love Fall! Last year my neighbor made this Creamy Pumpkin Soup that was OUT OF THIS WORLD. I bet it had a gazillion calories in it.
I am going to miss cheap produce from the summer - I really grew fond of watermelon this summer (I never liked it before) and fresh cantaloupe and berries. Now it's time for Apples and pumpkins - Have I mentioned my love for all things Pumpkin? mmm.

I bought some new jeans. They are size 6, but I am more like a 4 these days. I wish I had tried both sizes on in the store. I already took the tags off - oops. Stay tuned for more about jeans in another post. I am also finding that some small things are too big on me. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be an xs. whoa.

I have discovered these Extra Lean Premium Turkey Burgers by Jennie-o Turkey Store. I pair them with an Arnold Sandwich Thin and Voila - a delicious burger for under 300 calories- and chock full of protein! I have been buying these in bulk at BJs - we can't get enough of them around here!

Speaking of protein, I have also been trying to get more of it.. I've started to have a protein shake most days - at least on the days I lift weights. I mix chocolate whey protein with 8oz of light soy milk and for 160 calories I have a tasty treat that does a body good. I sometimes add a half of a banana too. It really fills me up and keeps me full, too!

I can't think of anything else right now... Hope that was enough of an update!

Work out wrap up 9/14-9/20

2008-09-23T04:58:00.000-07:00

Posting this a little late this week...

Sunday: 3.57 miles 34:51
Monday: 1 hour Yoga class
Tuesday: 5 miles 44:26 / Weights
Wednesday: 1.75 mi 14:44 45 minutes Spinning Class
Thursday: 5 miles 44:37/ Weights
Friday: OFF
Saturday: 6.2 miles (10k) 56:27 / Weights

Got my Groove Back

2008-09-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the saddle again...

Tonight, my MIL came over. She brought pizza from our favorite place, ice cream and pumpkin pie! (should have blogged about how much I have been thinking about the pumpkin pie blizzard from DQ - This hasn't turned into a craving yet, but give me a few weeks...)

Not only did I resist the urge to eat all three, I even decided to go to bed without my planned evening snack of cottage cheese and strawberries! It's getting late and I really don't feel like I need anything. Most nights I have the urge to eat something, so I usually plan for some berries.

I feel so in control!
We are now in a set routine. Mondays we catch up from the weekend - Laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning up with Yoga at night.
Tuesdays and Thursdays are my favorite days. R goes to school, I go to the gym, run an errand or two, pick him up and it's home for lunch and naps and chores the rest of the day.
Wednesdays we visit the farm to pick fresh produce (the kids love) this and we hit the gym for a Cycling class before dinner.
Friday is "scrub the kitchen floor day" (among other chores) and my day off from the gym. Saturdays are the days I try to do a long run and R has swim lessons.
Sundays I run outside and chill at home. And of course, now that football season is here, our sofa is remembering the imprint of DH's ass from last year.

So back to the goodies....
I tried to get dear MIL to take the leftovers home with her, but she insisted that I keep them. I told her ice cream is a bad bad thing for me to have in the house and I told her about the ice cream incident.

A few weeks ago she told me I was too skinny, so she must think I need it.

So, there it sits - in my fridge. I dare not touch it. Well, okay maybe just a taste! We'll see how tomorrow goes. Aunt Flo just reared her ugly head - What's worse? Aunt Flo or a MIL with goodies. Tough call.

Work out wrap up 9/7-9/13

2008-09-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

Sunday: Run 4.12 miles outside
Monday: No Cardio 1 hour Yoga
Tuesday: Run 4.5 miles (hills) 41:00 min/ quick weight routine
Wednesday: 45 min Spinning Class
Thursday: Run 7 miles 1:03:02/ weights
Friday: REST
Saturday: Run 5 miles 44:40/weights

I did not sign up for a spinning class for the next available session. My favorite instructor is no longer teaching that class and her replacement taught my final class. She was soooo boring!

I have the option of "dropping in" and will probably take advantage of that on some Wednesday nights or whenever I need a change in routine.

A few good days.

2008-09-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

I have been really good the past few days - since the ice cream incident.

Yesterday I ran 7 miles in just over an hour.

This morning I was back down to 132 - a number I was glad to see since I have been mostly hovering closer to 133 for about 6 weeks.

I am feeling really good - really in control and pretty satisfied.

One thing I realized is that I CAN NOT bake anything or have anything of the Baked Good variety in this house. This is tough since we have been apple picking and peach picking a lot lately. I am a sucker for a good apple or peach crisp.

I am also starting to dread Halloween. Thinking about all the candy worries me.

A change in plans

2008-09-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

So, I didn't weigh in today. I avoided the scale like the plague (or in my case, the stomach flu).

I am going to be honest - yesterday was a bad day. What else is new? I am beginning to wonder how I ever managed to lose 30 pounds in the first place.

On Sunday night, Bobby decided he wanted ice cream. He went to the store and returned with 2 cartons of ice cream. When I asked him why he got two, he said "They were 2 for $5." I told him he could have gotten ONE for 2.50, but he said he wanted 2. Whatever. One was Chocolate fudge (ehh, does nothing for me) But the other was Peanut Butter. My weakness for anything peanut butter is almost as bad as my weakness for ice cream. It's probably one of my favorite foods. I gave it a taste, and was happy with that. (I had just gotten back from a 4 mile run and indulged in a piece of chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting at a baby shower earlier that day.)

Monday morning came. I couldn't stop thinking about that PB ice cream. I have a sickness. I had to have a taste. (I had already eaten breakfast, so I wasn't hungry). A taste turned into a serving and one serving turned into 2 - maybe 3? Why is a serving of ice cream only 1/2 cup? I mean, who really only eats 1/2 cup of ice cream?

I packed the kids up to take them shopping and re-planned my food for the day in my head so that the ice cream calories were accounted for.
We shopped for a few hours and got home at lunch time. After feeding the kids I pulled the ice cream out of the freezer and had another 'taste.' I tasted and tasted. Then the ice cream got to the perfect consistency, where it melts around the edges and is so easy to scoop. (Do you understand how sick I really am? I'm disgusting! This is why I can't keep ice cream in the house.)
Before I knew it, the ice cream was GONE! Sitting mindlessly at my computer, I managed to polish it all off. I was disgusted with myself for a brief minute, and then I realized that I really wasn't stuffed. How is that possible? I just ate enough ice cream to feed an entire preschool class and I didn't even feel sick. (Must have been because it was light ice cream - :)) I grabbed my calculator and tallied up the damage - Way more than my allotted calories for the day. ugh. As if that wasn't enough, I dug into the ritz crackers by late afternoon. I had Yoga class last night and that always makes me feel better.
This morning I woke up kinda hungry, but less than thrilled to step on the scale.

Am I embarrassed to be posting this here? YES, yes I am! But it needs to be put out in the open. I need to hold myself accountable - I really and truely ate an entire carton of ice cream in one day. I'm so gross!

I am now debating the idea of a monthly or bi-monthly weigh in. Now that most of my weight is gone it might be time to step away from the scale. I am hoping this will keep me in check and I can stop having these binging episodes - or at least stop beating myself up for days when I don't like the numbers on the scale. I am hoping I'll feel like I have more freedom to 'cheat' or splurge now and then instead of going overboard like I am never going to eat again.
Anyone have any suggestions or ideas?

Work out wrap up 8/31-9/6

2008-09-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

No classes this week at the gym - it's maintenance week. That means no Yoga or Spinning for me. Classes will resume next week.

Sunday: 6.3 miles 59:37
Monday: REST
Tuesday: Sick
Wednesday: 3.55 miles 32:17 upper body weights (still feeling kinda weak)
Thursday: 5 miles 45:20/Lower Body weights
Friday: 4.5 miles 42:32/Upper Body weights
Saturday: 2.85 miles 28:11 (some walking) so humid outside -it was a terrible run on an empty stomach. What was I thinking?

I am starting to get bored and I think I need a change in routine. Thinking about signing up for Pilates at the gym, but not sure if I'll like it as much as I like yoga. hmm.

sick

2008-09-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

No weigh in today. I've got a terrible stomach bug and I am feeling really awful.

The weekend involved some pretty awful food choices, so it's probably all for the best anyway.

And I ran...

2008-08-31T12:37:00.001-07:00

6.3 miles in 59:37.

I completed the 10k (and then some) I have been training for. I ran a new route outside in the town where my mom and dad live - and it felt great. I logged my run on the NikePlus site, so it was like I was really there (sigh, almost but not really) :(

Tonight I will celebrate... with ice cream. :)

Work out wrap up 8/24-8/30

2008-08-31T09:49:00.000-07:00

Sunday: REST
Monday: Run 6 miles 59:36
Tuesday: Run 5 miles 44:58/Upper and Lower body weight training
Wednesday: 30 minutes Spinning - class cut short due to power outage
Thursday: Run 4.5 miles 40:43/Upper and Lower weight training
Friday: Run 5.5 miles 50:23
Saturday: Run 4 miles 37:04/Upper and Lower body weight training

No long run this week. My feet have really taken a beating from my new running shoes. I didn't take off on Friday as I usually do - I like to do a long run after a day off. I still managed to get in to 25 miles in this week. And I will probably take off on Monday.

Trying something new

2008-08-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been really confused about how much I should be eating based on how much running/working out I have been doing. I am also concerned because I have been binging so often and that makes think I really should be eating more.
I only want to lose 5 more pounds, and then start to maintain.

I have asked a few people for advice and searched the internet for solutions. Someone suggested this site to figure out my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate - How many calories my body needs to function daily - basically the amount of calories I would need if I just laid around all day and did nothing.)
Then I used the Harris Benedict Equation to calculate my total caloric needs based on my daily activity.

Another suggestion someone gave was for me to do the calculations above based on my goal weight and eat to maintain my goal weight for a few weeks to jump start my metabolism. That's a lot of calories - Close to 2200/day - much much more than I am used to. Plus, I am burning close to 600-800 cals with my workouts.
To maintain at my current weight, I would need about 2400 calories.

I suppose it's worth a try...

Weekly weigh-in 8/26

2008-08-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

I cheated this week. I weighed in yesterday. I was 131.4.

After seeing those numbers, I lost it. I wanted to eat all afternoon. I started munching on cereal (a big red light food for me lately - I can't stop once I start) and then moved on to chocolate covered raisins. I was so full, I skipped dinner and went to Yoga. I felt so much better after Yoga.

I am trying to figure out the underlying cause that is making me have these binging episodes. I thought about it last night for a long time, and the only thing I could come up with is that my hubby is away this week. He was away last time I binged as well. (not the party binge!) Now that I have that figured out, I have to anticipate his trips and know that they tend to send me off the deep end.

Today, I am eating normally and I got to the gym early to get my run and weight training in. No guilt and move on. It's getting harder and harder. I thought it would be easier.

OH... I signed up for The Parkway Run at the end of September. I can't wait! I am running with my sister in law and I am really excited because it is for a good cause.

Work out wrap up 8/17-8/23

2008-08-23T23:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday: Endurance run - 6 miles 59:59min
Monday: Run 5.25 miles 49:37 /1 hour Yoga
Tuesday: Run 5 miles 44:35 Upper/Lower Body weights
Wednesday: 45 minutes Spinning/Run 1.75 mi 15:03
Thursday: Short run (speed) 3.5 miles 30:37 Upper/Lower Body weights
Friday: Rest
Saturday: Endurance run 8 miles 1:13:06/Upper/Lower Body weights

This week I met my goal of running 100 miles in 1 month. I am beyond my goal by nearly 10 miles!

Weekly weigh in 8/19

2008-08-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

I thought for sure I was back on the losing streak and that I'd see 131 or even 130 this week.
But yet another set back over the weekend has put my weight higher than anticipated.

Today's weight is 132.2.

After a really good week last week I was consistently 132.0 for 3 days. Then, the weekend came. After my 8 mile run on Saturday, I had this subconscious thought that "I can eat whatever I want, I ran 8 miles today." I should have ignored it.
We went to a potluck party that afternoon where I ate and drank my weight in c-r-a-p, I didn't intend to stuff myself, but once I started I couldn't stop. Of course, I didn't care what anyone thought, because "I'm skinny now - people won't think I am a pig." I went to bed feeling sick and woke up on Sunday morning starving! (stupid blood sugar!) I ate very light on Sunday and went for a 6 mile run. I started feeling less bloated by the afternoon.
I am due to start my monthly cycle this week - another contributing factor to all the madness.

Yesterday, was a great day! I took the kids peach picking and bought some great local produce from the farm stand. I had a good run and felt really in control. I am hoping for a great week and a good loss next week! My new goal is 128.

On the fitness front, I plan to do another long run on Saturday. I keep thinking about the Nike Race. I so wish I was able to participate. ugh. We are planning to visit my mom and dad that weekend and my sister will be there. Maybe we can do our own run together instead.

Work out wrap up 8/10-8/16

2008-08-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

Sunday: Run 2.8 miles outside 26:49
Monday: Walk 3 miles (40 minutes) 1 hour Yoga class
Tuesday: Run 4.7 mi 40:34 Upper/Lower Body strength training
Wednesday: 45 min Spinning class
Thursday: Run 4.5 mi 40:34 Upper/Lower Body strength training
Friday: REST
Saturday: Run 8 miles (!!!!) 1:09:33 Upper/Lower Body strength training

Had my longest run ever this week!

Back at it

2008-08-14T11:14:00.000-07:00

Back in control for 3 days in a row. I am feeling great! The scale read 132.0 this morning. I hope these numbers stick around for the next few days...

I am eating more - closer to 1500 cals/day - and I don't want to dig into my exercise calories if I don't have to, but it's nice to know they are there.

I really think I needed that binge to get me back in control and jumpstart my weight loss again.

till Tuesday...

Confession

2008-08-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

I am coming here to confess my horrible binge last night. I contemplated just forgetting about it and moving on with my life, but I think that if I post it here for everyone to see it will make it more real for me.

For some reason, I have been fighting this uncontrollable urge to eat everything. I haven't had this feeling for over a year. Am I missing something from my diet that is making me crave junk?
My vitamin, perhaps? Whatever it is, last night I caved - it was the worst night in a long long time. And since the husband was away, it was worse.
I made myself an ice cream sundae (with fro yo) and it really didn't even taste that good. I ate a half dozen mini reeces pb cups and left over lasagna. Over the course of the day, I polished off ALL of the baked oatmeal from the recipe I created. Four servings of it - consumed by me. ugh.
I really was starting to think my food issues were behind me - that I was becoming stronger. This just proves that I'm only human.

Today I weighed 133.8. I've been 133 all week. It's time to start seeing some numbers I haven't seen yet. My goal is to be 130 by September 7th. I think that is completely doable. I just need to get back into control and motivate myself. I need goals. Now that Hawaii has come and gone, it seems like I don't have any goals and that is setting me back.

In the past, I'd starve myself all day to make up for my binge which would deprive me and make me want to eat more. Today I will eat normally - no picking at the kids plates or snacking. I'll drink lots of water and have a good run.

Work out wrap up 8/2-8/9

2008-08-08T04:40:00.000-07:00

Sunday: 45 minute spinning class/ 3.5 mile run outside (34:01)
Monday: No cardio/1 hour yoga
Tuesday: Run 4.5 miles 39:59 /Upper and Lower body weight training
Wednesday: 45 minute spinning class (back to my regular instructor - yay!)
Thursday: 6.4 mile run 57:16/Upper and Lower body weight training
Friday: REST
Saturday: Run 6.25 miles 57:07/Upper and Lower body weight training

Decided after last week that I needed an extra day of rest this week. I took a spinning class on Sunday at LA Fitness with my sis in law. The class was HARD. Afterward, we decided to go for a run. My legs were sore for two days after that.
I achieved my goal of one long run this week... I did just over 6 miles on Thursday and then again on Saturday! Now, I KNOW I am ready for a 10k - if I could only find one to run!
I am feeling really fit and my appetite has been out of control with all this running I've been doing!

Weekly Weigh in 8/5

2008-08-05T10:28:00.001-07:00

Today's weight is 133.4. I am okay with that. I actually thought it might be higher since the scale has been closer to 134 all week. So, I'm pleased.

Race Snafu

2008-08-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

Bummed. I am really bummed.
I am going to withdraw my registration for the NikePlus 10k.
The race is at 6pm on Sunday August 31st. Not sure why it's so late - most races are in the morning. Anyway, as a participant, I'd need to pick up my race packet on Thursday, Friday or Saturday before the race. It is not available on race day.
I wanted to avoid getting a hotel room on Labor Day weekend in NYC if at all possible. It's just not in our budget. NYC is a 2.5 hour drive from my house.
It's not looking likely that I will be able to make this race. But, I AM still planning to run that weekend. I am now looking for a local race - even if it's just a 5k.

I hope I can get my registration fee back!

:tears:

Workout wrap-up 7/27-8/2

2008-08-02T04:13:00.000-07:00

Sunday: Run 4.1 miles outside - (Siep Avenue loop) 38:25
Monday: no cardio - yoga class 45 minutes
Tuesday: Run 5.2 miles 47:11/Upper and lower body training
Wednesday: 45 minute Spin class; Run 2.5 miles in 20:01
Thursday: Run 5.3 miles - 46:37/Upper body training + some legs
Friday: Outdoor 5k 29:27.
Saturday: 45 minute Spin class; 3 mile run 27:29/Upper and Lower body training

Enjoying my outdoor runs very much. I'm so glad I was able to spin twice this week - even if it was the instructor I am not so crazy about. The classes are getting too easy for me and I feel like I need to run afterward.
Next week I'd like to do one long run (6-7 mi) and then shorter runs (2-3 mi) at least 3 times. I need to consult my training log to make sure I am training for the race properly.

Back to Basics

2008-08-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

I have let the past 2 weeks get away from me. I started adding more sugar back into my diet. I am paying for it now. I brought ice cream into this house thinking I would be able to control myself. I was wrong. Last night I dug in and polished off 2 servings of chocolate covered pretzel light ice cream... but it was light! No excuse. I have been snacking too much, picking off the kids plates too much and falling away from my usual discipline.
That stops TODAY.
I need to get this sugar out of my body and get back into control.

I ran 5 miles on Tuesday and again yesterday. Wednesday's spin class was good, but I didn't feel as accomplished (read: sweaty) as I usually do after my runs, so I hopped on the treadmill right after class and burned out 2.5 miles in 20 minutes. Then, I felt great!

I haven't decided if I'll take today off. Based on my eating patterns I feel compelled to run.

Race update

2008-07-30T05:43:00.001-07:00

I have officially registered for the NikePlus 10k in NYC on 8/31/08. I'm psyched.

I ran 5 miles yesterday in just under 47 minutes. I felt great and probably could have gone further but I didn't want to push myself. Today I am starving!

32 days until race day and I have lots of training left to do!

ps life without salt sucks

Weekly Weigh in 7/29

2008-07-29T04:28:00.000-07:00

I was nervous about today's weigh in. I haven't been seeing much change on the scale over the past 2 weeks. And I think I figured out why...

SALT.

I am a salt junkee. Recently I discovered Kosher salt and I LOVE love love it. I can't get enough of it and I salt everything. I try to drink a ton of water to compensate, but my plan doesn't always work - apparently.
According to mydailyplate, (where I record what I eat) I am consistently exceeding my daily limit for salt (it's really the only 'nutrient' in which I am not deficient.) And that is calculated before I dump any additional salt onto my foods. uh oh.

Last night, I eliminated salt from my baked potato and my salad.

This morning the scale read 132.7.

Salt is definitely an issue for me. Thank goodness my blood pressure is okay. I must have inherited it from my dad.

Map My Run and funnel cake

2008-07-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

I found a new site that I LOVE - mapmyrun.com. Enter the name of the city where you run and you can track your run in miles or kilometers. It will also bring up other routes that have been run in your city (saved by other members).
Today I ran 4.08 miles right outside my front door. And if not for car exhaust and frequent roadkill, I really enjoy running outside. The hills are killer in this area, but I ran my entire planned route (on an empty stomach!) and came home a sweaty sweat ball - with a hard earned blister on my left heel. (free band aids at cvs will help relieve this!)

Ponder this: Is running a 'born' activity or a learned one? What do you think?

And finally, we went to our church carnival last night and I indulged in the most awful fair fare in existence... Funnel Cake. It was good... but not as good as I remembered it being 8 years or so when I last had one.
No wonder I ran so well today!

Workout wrap-up 7/20-7/26

2008-07-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

I have really stepped up my workouts in the past few weeks. So, even if the scale isn't moving, at least I am!

Sunday - (Boston) River Run 5 miles -had to walk some b/c I got lost in the city! 47 minutes
Monday- 45 min Yoga class - no cardio
Tuesday- Run 4.25 miles in 38 min/ Upper & Lower Body Strength Training
Wednesday - 45 min Spin Class (music was terrible, instructor was a sub. Class itself was good.)
Thursday - Run 4.5 miles in 38:36 min/ Upper Body Strength Training
Friday - Run 7K (4.7 miles) in 41:56 min/ Lower Body Strength Training
Saturday - planned on Spin class, but it was canceled. ran 3.25 mi (hills) in 30 min even/ Upper Body Strength Training + hip abductors (I like those!)

My Goals for next week include running 5 miles and least once and 2 days at least 4.5 miles. I am now training for my first race.

I'd like to run a 10K (6.2 miles) this Fall - if not sooner. Nike is sponsoring the Human Race 10K on August 31st. I'd love to do this race, but the nearest location to me is NYC. Something I am considering. I can always run it on my own if I decide not to join the NYC race. I'll keep you posted!

UNofficial weigh in 7/22

2008-07-23T05:13:00.000-07:00

The scale has been all over the place this week up to 134.7 and down to 133.6. I am not thrilled about it. I didn't have an official weigh in yesterday since I am waiting for my cycle to start. I doubt that I have really gained any 'true weight.' I am working out harder than ever and eating to compensate. I don't think I am eating too much. I have just GOT to stop picking at the kids' plates. And that is that.

I have started to weight train my legs. While talking to another runner in Hawaii, she told me that she noticed a significant difference in her running when she weight trained her legs. I figured it's worth a try.
I am now running 15-20 miles/week and spinning once (or twice if I can) in addition to Yoga.

I also decided that I should lower my weight for my upper body strength training. In Yoga class the other night, I noticed that my upper body is starting to look bulky. Hopefully lowering my weight and doing more reps will help that.

I have started looking more closely into abdominoplasty (tummy tuck). I'd like to have the procedure this winter as my 30th birthday approaches. I am apprehensive since the recovery period is long and hard. I don't like the idea of being cooped up for a few weeks and not able to run or work out for 6-8 weeks. But it will be worth it.
For now I am just checking out plastic surgeons online.

Ultimately, I'd like to get into the 120s, but since my body seems to be giving up it's fat fight, I'll settle for maintaining anywhere under 135 for now.

Bad weekend

2008-07-20T17:07:00.001-07:00

I had a horrible weekend eating-wise... and it all started with Pepperoni Pizza on Friday night. We were in Boston for the weekend for my nephew's first birthday, and I feel like all I did was eat! In my body's self defense, I have the most horrible case of pms - EVER! I know that is no excuse. I really should know better. I think part of me is starting to get comfy in my new body and starting to get a bit lax. I have been picking more and more and the kids' plates and not counting things that should be counted. The scale was 134-135 all week after my weigh in. I feel like I am losing control.
On a positive note, I ran twice while I was in Boston and 6 days total this week, so I feel great about that. I got a new iPod - my other one died while I was in Hawaii. I have been using the Nike+ system to track my runs. I love it.
I feel bloated and greasy and gross and I am thinking about skipping my weigh in on Tuesday since I will be starting my monthly cycle that day. I MUST get back on track this week. Bobby will be away so it should be easy for me. Fingers crossed.